#but this reminds me of the fic writer challenge i did one summer...

[mittensmorgul]

There’s another post going around about this, but tumblr won’t let me reblog it but...

When I read a story written by a human being, I’m not just reading it because I want to read a coffee shop AU with a specific plot description. I’m reading it because it’s making a connection to another human storyteller and seeing a piece of them carved into the words. Storytelling is a human act of sharing joy, angst, tension, resolution, satisfaction. It’s an act of love.

Writing and reading a story isn’t just an act of creation and consumption. I hate that commercialism and AI are reducing it to that sort of transaction. Like oh, you need words on this subject and that’s the end of it. Like what we really needed was just a vending machine we can push buttons on to get a fix, as if the human creating the story wasn’t a factor. That the author’s life experience and views and feelings haven’t infused the words with their own unique touches.

I’ve read hundreds of coffee shop AU’s over the years (and thousands of fics in general). I’ve seen many similar tropes reused across stories, and just like an AI would, I’ve learned things about writing them that I will always carry with me. But unlike an AI, a human author is not just the sum total of coffee shop AU’s we’ve consumed. Even if we used the same prompt, the same sets of tropes, the same characters. I will always choose the human-crafted story over the computer generated one.

Because again, I’m not just looking for a very specific fix via a series of words. I’m looking for a human connection through story.

Unlike an AI, I have BEEN to a coffee shop. I’ve had experiences in coffee shops. I’ve had funny little meet-cutes with people. I’ve accidentally spilled coffee on myself and knocked heads with someone as we both rushed to wipe it up. I know what it FEELS like. The machine doesn’t.

I’ve also read millions of things that aren’t fanfic, or coffee shop AU’s. I’ve experienced things OTHER than going to coffee shops and having meet-cutes. And I know what all those things feel like when processed through my personal human lens of experience, which is different from every other personal human lens of experience.

All the machine can do is spit out what it THINKS a human experience is, and I honestly don’t care about that at all. Fic is not a “product” to be “generated.” It’s an art form that connects us to other people who share the same love of a thing that we do.

People who, even when all writing the same characters in the same setting to the exact same prompt, will all add something or have a viewpoint about something or bring a completely different personality and life experience to the story that no one else on the planet could. That’s what I’m actually reading.

[stickymolasses]

NEW SLANG

pairing: harry osborn (marvels spiderman 2 ps5) x reader (no use of y/n, not gendered)

summary: you are a young adult who had to put a pause on your schooling due to unforeseen circumstances. you work at a cotton candy stand on coney island and harry and you chat, perhaps leading to a new beginning for the both of you.

characters: harry osborn, peter parker, mary jane watson

warnings: mention of gambling, writer being stupid :3

an: hello! this is my first fic on this blog. if you like this first chapter let me know and i'll write another one! i have never really written fanfiction on tumblr or at least never uploaded on here but i figured i'd give it a try. i love harry in spidey ps5 so badddd and there just aren't enough fics for him :> be on the lookout for another an at the end of the fic! i don't really know how this stuff works yet but if you're interested in being put on my tags list for this work let me know!

Coney Island was so beautiful at this time of night. The night sky was illuminated with the sparkling shine that the entertainment district gave off. Despite the enchanting scenery, a sense of melancholy enveloped you on this particular night. The realization of your current situation hit home as a teenage girl, clad in an Empire State University sweater, approached your cotton candy stand—a stark reminder of why you were working here. 

You could’ve been in her shoes if not for the string of unfortunate events that unfolded in quick succession. Moving out of your aunt and uncle's place had been challenging due to the soaring living costs in New York City. To make matters worse, your ex-lover's reckless gambling had drained your finances, forcing you to put a pause on your education. The dream of becoming a great astronomer remained unfulfilled, and instead, you found yourself working at a shitty cotton candy stand.

Nights like these were bustling, contributing to your current state of dismay. The boardwalk teemed with people, immersed in the company of their significant others and friends—something you currently lacked.

The lingering summer heat made you sweat a little. Adjusting your uniform, you opened the topmost button, and as you looked up, three people stood before you—two redheads and a brunette. "Hi, welcome to Coney Cotton Candy. What can I get for you guys?"

You smile and greet your customers with as much delight as you can conjure. One of the redheads, a very handsome young man, opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it and furrows his eyebrows instead. 

You greeted your customers with a forced delight. The handsome young man among them hesitated before making his order. His friend, addressed as Pete, clarified the order, and the other two in the group walked away, seemingly a couple. 

“Alright, can we get three of the little cones?” He fumbled through his wallet, and you noticed his striking green eyes. As you handed back his credit card, his gaze lingered in a way that made your stomach twist. 

“Have we met before? I feel like I know you,” he pondered.

“Um, I don’t think so. Maybe you’ve shopped here before?” you suggested, playing it cool.

“Did you go to Midtown High? Or maybe you went to Empire State?” he continued. 

“I went to ESU. I couldn't finish my degree, though–unforeseen circumstances,” you replied, throwing up finger quotes. He looked sympathetic, a reaction that both touched and frustrated you.  

“I’m sorry, I’ve had some of those lately too. I graduated from ESU in ‘21. What were you studying?” The line behind him grew, and despite wanting to chat further, you had a job to do. 

“Astronomy. I’m sorry, but there are customers behind you,” you said, cutting the conversation short. He apologized to the people in line, turning to leave but hesitating for a moment. 

“When you get off tonight, come meet me at the Speed Demon!” he called back. 

“Please!”

As you continued working, typing into the cash register, and dealing with an impatient mother, you awaited the hour when you would be free.  

You sigh, locking the register and slinging your tote bag over your shoulder. The remainder of your shift proved fairly uninteresting after your run-in with the man with pretty green eyes. Walking across the park, you take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the Atlantic. The waves crash on the shore, creating a soothing backdrop to your uncertain life.

When you arrive at the Speed Demon, the designated meeting spot with the intriguing young man from earlier, you find him leaning casually against the head requirement chart.

"How did you know when I got off work?" you question him, suspicion coloring your tone.

"It said the booth closes at midnight on weekends. I only assumed you wouldn’t have to stay much later than that," he replies, eyeing your face and studying your expressions.

"So, why did you want to meet with me?" you inquire again.

“You said you were studying to be an astronomer, right?” he replies, matter-of-factly.

“Yes, but I told you I couldn’t get my degree. I—”

He cuts you off, “It doesn’t matter; are you good at it?”

“I mean, yes, I would hope so. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been passionate about. I wanted to heal the environment, starting with the stars.” He smirks and looks at his feet, shuffling them.

“Well, would you be interested in not working at Coney Cotton Candy? N-Not that this job isn’t worth your time or anything…” He stumbles over his words a little, getting to his point.

“What are you saying?” Your left eyebrow kicks up in curiosity at his remarks.

“I have a startup foundation in Manhattan. I’m trying to gather as many great scientists and innovators as I can. You seem like a great fit, and it could help you finish your studies.” He smiles wide, and you note that his teeth are perfect.

“Why should you hire some person you don’t know? Isn’t that a little bit sketchy?” You place your hands in your thin jacket pockets and fidget around a little bit, thinking. If he is serious about this, you could kiss him. You would rather work any job other than your current one, no matter a real job where you can actually do what you went to school for.

“You just have that look in your eyes; I can see what type of person you are. You want to help people too. We’d still have to do a real interview, of course; I need to make sure you’re qualified.” He laughs, and his eyes sparkle with enthusiasm; he means what he says.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.” You roll your neck around a few times, tired from a day's work.

He holds his hand out for you to shake it, and you do.

“We are going to heal the world.”

“So, you haven’t even told me your name yet,” he remarks, walking by your side to the subway station.

“I can say the same thing about you, mystery man. If you weren’t so handsome, I would think you were just some creep trying to murder me,” you admit, probably a little bit too honestly.

He gasps and places a hand on his chest, in faux offense. “I would never, and my name is Harry. Harry Osborn.”

You tell him your name, and he repeats it to himself a few times under his breath. “That's a nice name; it suits you.”

He looks at you, as you are examining your feet. You feel his gaze on you but don’t want to scare him away, so you continue to feign interest in the floor.

“What happened to the people you were with earlier? They ditch you?” you ask, curious about the whereabouts of the group he was with earlier.

“I told them I had some work stuff to do, and they didn’t ask many questions. It was date night for them anyway. I was kind of third-wheeling.” He lets out a small laugh at the admission.

The two of you continue to engage in small talk throughout your walk. When you eventually reach your destination, he stops you.

“Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the time of day. Not just anyone would do that; you said it yourself, I could have been some kind of psycho freak murderer.” He pauses for a second, opening his mouth and closing it again, thinking about his next words. “I have to be honest, I really wanted to talk to you because I thought you were beautiful; it just helped that you were exactly what my startup is looking for.”

You feel heat rising to your face due to his gentle compliment. Since your last relationship, no one had ever called you beautiful; they only ever called you asking for a check. “Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself. I seriously hope I knock that interview out of the park; I’d rather not go back to slinging cotton candy.”

He chuckles and shakes your hand again, clasping over it with his other hand, lingering for a while. “I’ll see you then.”

part 2: here an: hello! what did you think? reader lowkey miserable until harry shows up LOL. i really wanna do fun stuff with this story idk. i am hoping it came across the way i imagined it! i just like need harry carnally and i realized no one was gonna write about him so i had to take matters into my own hands.

[erxxi3]

Bliss! You're an amazing writer that needs an Idea?

Since it's Easter! What about a Fluff fic of RE4R Leon and Reader doing an Easter Egg hunt, proposing to Reader with a Golden egg as the ring is inside! It sounds so cute😭

Idea is so vivid making me picture this and make fake scenarios before I go to sleep, but yes I love this idea!

This is so cute Leon egg hunting with the reader <;33

— Egg Hunting Proposal

Pairings: Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Summary: Leon takes you easter egg hunting in town square, he planned a secret proposal and you had challenged leon in finding the golden egg bc you get this amazing prize, and when he found it he called you over to him getting down on one knee….

Cw. Straight up just fluff, egg hunting w Leon who is dressed in a suit with bunny ears on, the reader admiring the cute children running around them and hunting for eggs, kissing, hand holding, and leon proposing to the reader in front of almost everyone all eyes on both of you. NOT PROOF READ!

Character Count: 10.7k

Waking up on a late sunday morning was never quite as pleasant and relaxing as it had been in the summer. Even if one didn’t have a very strict work schedule at the moment. The sky outside their large bay window, though still heavily overcast with dark grey clouds, was already beginning to lighten into soft pinks and oranges.

There were two things that could make waking up so much more tolerable than this. One would be a fresh cup of coffee and the other would probably be the smell of freshly brewed pancakes and bacon frying. As you turned around and stretched your arms above your head you noticed something missing from the bed besides the empty space. You sat up and looked around. It took you a moment or two, but eventually your eyes landed on a sticky note that was on the table reading.

`I went to get groceries, but I might be back and now cooking breakfast for you, love. <3 ` After you read the note you headed. out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen, which your boyfriend smiled at you, looking up from his spot in front of the stove. “Morning. Hope you slept well, my love.” You kissed him softly and nodded. “Mmm...it was good.” You replied. “Did you have any trouble?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

You shook your head and smiled warmly at him. He was an excellent cook who loved to learn new recipes, especially ones that seemed to appeal to his creative side. But, most importantly, he was always extremely kind and considerate even when cooking, just like everything else about him was. You loved that about him. “It was perfect actually.” you said. “Thank you, honey.” He added and gave you another quick kiss, then continued making breakfast. Your job was simply to keep him company while he cooked. Then he checked his phone and got a reminder that today was easter, which he had knew and also forgotten.

He cursed under his breath and looked up at you apologetically. You just chuckled at his silly expression. His face broke into a grin as soon as he saw the look on your face. “What is it?” You asked. “No, nothing…” he said with a smile. “Well then….what is it?” you asked again. This time he let out a sigh before answering. “I forgot that today is the day that we celebrate…” ‘’What do you mean by celebrate?” You asked. “Easter….you know….the holiday that everyone celebrates?” he responded with a hint of amusement in his voice and a small shrug. You couldn’t help laughing.

This wasn’t the first time someone forgot that Easter celebrated this day too, but it certainly hadn’t happened often before.

“Oh….yeah..I kinda forgot about it. What did you plan on doing?” He shrugged again. “I don’t know...maybe we could go to town square? Just to take a break and relax before the next long week of work.” He finished with a smirk on his lips, which you returned with a fond shake of your head and a sigh.

“Sounds great…” you said and leaned in to kiss him again. “Now eat up, baby, or it will be crowded by the time we get there.” You told him with a wink. That made him chuckle. He nodded and began cutting up his food.

After both of you had eaten and cleaned up the dishes from breakfast, they got ready to leave for town square, where people were already gathering. As the two of you walked hand in hand towards town center, they talked about what they planned to do during the week and whether or not they would do anything special with each other.

You found yourself thinking about how much you loved the feeling of your hand being held by his, intwined by a bond that cannot be broken. The two of you walking in the park, waiting for the egg hunt to start you were watching the children play and enjoying themselves immensely.

There were many different games and activities going on everywhere: there were games and games, and people running through the park chasing each other around, trying to catch them as they ran away from you.

At one point, one girl tried to throw one of her eggs into the air and catch it with the net attached to the end of a stick. She succeeded, but only after she fell down and scraped her knee. Her mother rushed over to her and helped her up. You laughed at the sight of the little girl’s mother fussing over her daughter, who was clearly embarrassed. You thought to yourself that it would be a blesssing to have a child of your own someday. Your partner must have sensed you thinking these thoughts because he squeezed your hand gently, letting you know he was listening.

A smile grew on your face at the thought of having a kid one day. When the egg hunt started a group of kids came sprinting past you on their way to their next target: a basket full of eggs. It reminded you of when you were little, yet you could still make memories similar.

The speakers propped around town went off `Egg hunt will begin in two minutes`, followed by a countdown of three.

All of the children ran back to where their family was standing and started playing. You and Leon joined meeting up at the plaza to begin, not having pay attention to the fact that Leon had been talking to the mayor.

After saying hi and taking pictures, you were on your way to the eggs when a little girl had gotten lost from her group and ended up behind you and beside Leon, who happened to be standing right in front of you. The little girl was holding a large stuffed rabbit, with its ears drooping sadly and its big sad eyes peering up at you. You felt like you needed to say something to comfort the child. “Oh...poor thing.” You said softly as you crouched down to her level and picked her up in your arms. The girl looked up at you with huge doe eyes and sniffled, “Thank you.” you smiled at her and put her back on the ground.

“Do you need anything else while you wait, sweetheart?” She grabbed both Leon’s and your hand leading you to the golden egg in the middle of the square. “Here, take this!” She offered Leon the egg. He took it in surprise and looked at it for some time. “Um…is this what you want?” you asked, looking back at the girl, nodding vigorously. “Okay…” Leon replied with a smile, tucking the egg inside his basket, as he went to do something.

You reached out to the child, but stopped short when you heard another voice behind you. You turned around quickly, expecting another little kid to collect her. It wasn’t, but Instead it was Leon taking the golden egg out of his basket lowering himself down on one knee as he faced the you. Opening the golden egg to a beautiful silver ring, looking into your eyes, “My heart, my soul, and all of my treasures towards the one girl I love. Would you marry me, Y/N?” He asked softly. You looked up at him, tears filling up the corners of your eyes.

“Yes!” you cried. You dropped to your knees in front of him and took his hands in yours, smiling up at him brightly. “Yes, of course I will, my love. Of course I will.” You answered. He smiled at you, his eyes filled with happiness. You wrapped both of your arms around his neck and stood up. As soon as you did he pulled you close and placed his soft lips on yours. Kissing him deeply and passionately.

You could hear the crowd cheering around the square, but all you could concentrate on was Leon.

You didn't care about anything else, you could have been kissing anyone, but you knew that it was him and only him that mattered.

He pulled you closer and you rested your forehead against his, smiling into his skin. Your hands moved up to his face and stroked his cheeks lightly. Your thumbs brushing across his slightly chubby cheeks before resting against the corners of his lips. He opened his mouth to speak when you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

Both of you separated abruptly, turning around, surprised that someone was there. The little girl from earlier had taken the basket of eggs from his arms and was looking at them with wide eyes as well as a shy and confused smile on her lips. You knelt down and smiled at her. “Hello, dear….do you need anything?” you asked. “Uh….no….” She mumbled, but still looking up at you with big round eyes and said, “Could you braid my hair?” You grinned widely and looked back at Leon who had a loving look on his face.

“Of course, why didn't you ask sooner!?” You exclaimed excitedly,Leon took the basket from you and you kneeled down in front of the girl. You carefully brushed her messy blonde hair, which reached her shoulders, to either side of her face. The little girl giggled at your actions and you couldn’t help but smile as well as you braided her hair.

Once done you let her sit on your lap as you tied the last knot with a blue ribbon you had brought with you earlier in case your hair was in your face. You stood up with the girl in your arms. “You have such pretty hair, missy.” You commented as you admired her braid. She nodded and then looked up at you with a grin.

As the three of you continued to walk down the street together, the little girl began talking, telling you about how fun it was to be here, and also explaining to you how much fun Easter was to everyone. You and Leon had listened carefully to every word she said, even though it was a bit hard for you to understand because most of the words seemed to come out of left field sometimes.

Yet, it somehow didn't matter because you didn't need to understand everything she was saying, just enough to listen to what she had to say until you saw her mom walking towards the two of you. “Thank you for watching my daughter, I was worried sick where she could have went!” the woman said as she gave you a hug. You patted her on the back and replied, “It’s no trouble, really, any parent would have been scared if their child disappeared.” She smiled at you and kissed her daughter on the cheek, causing you and Leon to smile too.

“So…where should we go now?” Leon said, grabbing your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, and giving it a small squeeze. You shrugged “We should be heading home and spending the rest of the day together.”

“Sounds nice.” Leon agreed and began making his way slowly backwards toward your house. Before you got too far ahead of him, Leon turned towards you and asked with a mischievous look on his face “How about we have a little getaway party?” You chuckled, raising an eyebrow at him “A little getaway party? That sounds like a lot of work…”

“Come on, you know you want to~” Leon smirked at you seductively. You stared at him for a moment longer before rolling your eyes playfully and walking faster so you could pull away from him. Leon laughed aloud and ran after you, trying to keep up with your speed, which you knew you could easily overtake. By the time you had caught up to him again, you both doubled over with laughter, and then you began walking back home.

[comphy-and-cozy]

The Mystery of Love - Andrei Svechnikov

Pairing: college!Andrei Svechnikov x fem!OC

Summary: Boston University senior Vivian Adams is the quintessential Miss Terrier - President of her sorority and star student, with big aspirations waiting for her as soon as she crosses the stage at graduation. What will happen when she gets paired with her ex-boyfriend and BU’s hockey star, Andrei Svechnikov, for the biggest project of her college career? College AU.

Word Count: 11.8K

Author’s Note: I wrote this for @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 for @antoineroussel’s Winter Fic Exchange! I won’t lie, when I first received my match I had a minor (major) freak out (Demi can confirm). I admire you and your writing so much, Nat, and I was petrified of creating something for someone I think is one of the best writers on this site. Thank you for (unknowingly) challenging me to create something that felt worthy to gift to you. I hope you enjoy!

Huge S/O to Demi for beta-ing, dealing with my thousands of messages, and reminding me to be more confident in myself. And to @suitandtys for her endless support and being a sounding board (+ for the 90210 inspiration). 🖤

Warnings: Language, alcohol use/mention, smut (18+ ONLY), unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), some angst, some fluff, brief mentions of/references to anxiety, Greek life themes/mention.

NHL Masterlist / Moodboard

When Vivian Adams met Andrei Svechnikov, she had no idea just how much he would impact her. Sure, he was handsome—anyone could see that—but he was also sweet, charming, and incredibly caring, and he understood her in a way that others couldn’t. He might not have been her “ideal type”, but he certainly became the one that made all of the others irrelevant. 

If she thought about it, it was no surprise how she fell for him as fast as she did. He lived in the dorm building next to hers, discovered at some “Back to School Bash” during their freshman year at Boston University. It was awkward, but so was everyone there, searching for connections to make with people that would very likely shape their college experience as Terriers. 

Vivian stood uncomfortably to the side with her roommate and a few others from their dorm, doing her best to mingle with other nervous freshmen. There were only so many times she could ask, “Where are you from?” and “What’s your major?” before she started to go insane.

But then, a tall, handsome boy approached her to join his volleyball team, gesturing to the sand court behind him. Andrei. All he needed to do was smile, and Vivian was gone. Soon enough, they were meeting for breakfast at the cafeteria, having weekly lunch in between classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays after psych lecture hall, and meeting up to study in the common room of her dorm with their other friends.

The friendship came quickly, and the romance wasn’t far behind. Andrei found comfort in Vivian’s soft smile and innocent nature, while Vivian felt at home in Andrei’s warmth and his inner child. It was like a movie, the pretty girl paired with the athlete, though instead of the football team’s star quarterback, he was a grungy hockey player. Regardless, he certainly had the good looks of the leading man, with prominent muscles and a dimple that could melt anyone’s heart. When Vivian joined a sorority and began climbing the social ranks of Terrier Nation, having a handsome athlete for a boyfriend certainly didn’t hurt her standing.

Their relationship made it through the summer, a difficult distance since Andrei went back to Russia to spend time with his family. Through regular video calls and frequent texts, they maneuvered the time difference as well as they could have, trying to enjoy their breaks while still looking forward to when they could be together again in Boston.

Despite the familiarity of campus and routines, fall semester of their sophomore year brought new challenges: more advanced classes, an Alpha Zeta leadership position, a part time job, and heightened expectations of a big year for BU men’s hockey. Andrei and Vivian carried the wisdom of sophomores who had learned lessons the previous year, but still had the naïveté of 19-year-olds navigating their newfound freedom. Their reunion after a summer apart was wonderful, but the feeling was short lived.

Between the hockey schedule, extracurricular obligations, and their regular coursework, Andrei and Vivian struggled to find free time to spend together. More often than not, their schedules conflicted; when Andrei was free, Vivian had class; when Vivian had a break, Andrei had practice. It became increasingly frustrating, only having time together at night, and even then, Andrei often fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow.

Change was inevitable, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dreading it. 

The day they broke up was dark. Literally. It was storming outside, rain falling in heavy sheets as students ran for cover under their umbrellas and the awnings of campus buildings. Having forgotten her umbrella that day, Vivian got back to her dorm room drenched. With a rare two free hours before her herNetwork (an organization for women in business) meeting, she planned to take a nap before heading early to the library to knock out an assignment, but was instead met with Andrei waiting anxiously at her dorm.

Truthfully, Vivian had been feeling distant from Andrei, too, but genuinely hadn’t had any time to think about it between her Alpha Zeta obligations, planning the herNetwork fundraiser, and heading into the last stretch of the semester before winter break. Andrei was equally busy with travel, his season in full swing, along with keeping up with the rest of his schoolwork, but he couldn’t deny that the distance from Vivian was tearing him apart.

It wasn’t what she expected when she saw him, dark circles under his eyes and an uneven, patchy shadow of hair growing along his jawline. But as he sat on the edge of her bed, sadness in his eyes, it was both of their hearts that broke that day.

In the end, it was a mutual decision; not for lack of love, but simply due to the rift that had grown between them as their other responsibilities took priority. Andrei held her as she cried, staining his faded BU Hockey t-shirt with her tears. Their last hug was warm, but bittersweet, as Vivian did her best to soak in the last traces of his cologne on her sweatshirt.

Vivian wasn’t bitter, or even regretful; the only thing she regretted was that it hadn’t worked out. Andrei was such a kind, wonderful person, humble despite having every reason not to be, and she knew he’d have success wherever he went. Truth be told, she hadn’t really thought much about their future, past their wonderful BU bubble, but after they broke up, she realized how different their paths were. Andrei was destined to be an NHL star, while Vivian would surely make Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list at some point. Their lives just didn’t mesh – and she had to come to terms with that.

Two years later, Vivian was in the last semester of her senior year, fulfilling and exceeding every expectation set in front of her. President of her sorority and herNetwork, star student, expecting to graduate summa cum laude with a double major in Business and Finance and undoubtedly multiple full-time job offers, Vivian Adams was the quintessential Miss Terrier. 

Andrei was also in his last semester, though his college career had taken him on a much different path, focused almost solely on hockey. Drafted by the Carolina Hurricanes, he hoped to have a record senior season before heading to Raleigh to live out his dream of playing in the NHL. The Bachelor’s degree in Business was just a backup, a safety net, should things not work out. But, given that he was a shoe-in for the Hobey Baker and already expected to be a Calder finalist in his first season, his future seemed all but cut out for him.

As their social circles had drifted apart over time, Vivian and Andrei didn’t see each other much, the run-ins at bars and parties less than frequent but not entirely nonexistent. Their ties to the business school kept them in each other’s lives, albeit on the fringes, often passing each other in the hallways on the way to class. Though they rarely spoke outside of the occasional smile or wave, they had a few classes together over the years, a familiar comfort having him in the back of the classroom.

So, Vivian wasn’t overly surprised to walk into her capstone class to find Andrei already seated in the last row, scrolling on his phone. She settled into her own spot, across the room from him, just out of habit, though she offered a small smile when he looked up from his phone and saw her looking at him. 

‘Nervous’ wasn’t quite the proper word to use to describe how she felt about her capstone class, but it was close. As she listened to Professor Janes explain the partnered project, she became increasingly anxious and excited to get started. An intimidating semester-long project, surely the biggest one of her college career, it included bidding for company-sponsored projects with varying focuses ranging from marketing to strategy to operations, all ultimately culminating in a presentation of the proposal and recommendations in front of the company’s executives at the end of the semester. No doubt a successful presentation could result in a potential job offer, or at the very least, very crucial networking for a young professional about to head into the real world. In short, a lot of close personal time with whoever she was paired with, and a lot riding on their mutual partnership. 

Then, add in the fact that Professor Janes mentioned she’d be assigning partners rather than letting them select their own, an additional layer of suspense tacked on. Her justification was, unfortunately, sound, being that they wouldn’t have the luxury of picking their teammates and coworkers in the ‘real world’, and it was important to learn how to work with someone you may not know very well.

Fortunately—or unfortunately—for Vivian, she knew her assigned partner a little too well and nearly dropped her phone when she received the email from Professor Janes later that week. She read it over three separate times, part of her in disbelief when she saw her partner’s name listed beside hers.

Adams, V. / Svechnikov, A.

Then she saw his name pop up in a text, and she knew it was real.

[Andrei Svechnikov:] Well this is gonna be fun [Andrei Svechnikov:] Should we meet for coffee to talk about it? [Andrei Svechnikov:] The project, I mean

With a deep breath, Vivian’s eyes traced over his name in her phone, a brief but powerful rush of memories flying through her. Somewhere along the way—she didn’t remember when—she’d changed his name from ‘Drei 💖’ to his full name, sans emoji. Looking at it now, so formal and impersonal, it made her heart ache just a little bit.

[Vivian:] Brian’s at 2pm tomorrow?

January 

Coffee wasn’t awkward, but it was the first time they’d spent real time together since they broke up two years prior. To Andrei, Vivian had only gotten more beautiful in time, her confident nature making her even more attractive as she’d grown up; seeing her up close only solidified his thought with her long, dark hair cascading over her shoulders. She still wore the same perfume—wafting into his senses even from afar as she approached—and Andrei had to distract himself from the rush of feelings that flooded his system at the scent by waving to a friend passing by behind her. 

“Some project, huh?” he asked, watching her slide into the high-top stool across from him. 

Vivian glanced at him and shook her head in disbelief. “It’s an awesome project. Real world problems for real world companies—it’s such good exposure. It’s just also, you know, kind of petrifying at the same time, for the same reason.”

“I’m paired up with the smartest girl in the program,” he grinned. “I know I’m gonna be fine.”

Vivian rolled her eyes, brushing off his compliment. “You’re smart, too, Andrei.”

“I’m a hockey player,” he said with a shrug. “I’m only as smart as I need to be, and as long as it doesn’t interfere with competing for the Natty.”

“Andrei, this is the most important project of our lives. I need you to be as smart as possible, not only as smart as you need to be. You may already have your next step laid out for you, but I don’t have that luxury. Not all of us can be prospects for an up-and-coming NHL team.”

His eyebrow quirked, amused at her worry. “You know about that?”

He watched Vivian’s eyes widen slightly, shifting uncomfortably as she admitted to following news about Andrei even after they’d broken up. She cast her eyes down, thumb running along the seam of the cardboard sleeve on her coffee cup, as if searching for an excuse. “It’s hard not to know.”

“But you still did your research. The Canes aren’t even in the Bruins’ division.” He grinned again, pleased with her admission and the knowledge that she’d gone out of her Boston bubble to investigate his future plans. “You looked me up!”

With a roll of her eyes, she nudged his leg with her foot. “Shut up. Of course I did.”

Feigning pain, Andrei grabbed his ankle with both hands, giving a dramatic cry. “Ouch! You better be more careful around these superstar legs.”

“Can we talk about the project now?” she sighed, shaking her head at his antics. Andrei conceded, though he noticed the small smile that played at the corner of her lips as she pulled her laptop out of her bag, pleased at his ability to still make her laugh.

February

After selecting their project—a review of an eCommerce site’s operations and subsequent marketing plan—it was easy for Vivian to morph into planning mode, creating a project timeline and documenting each necessary step to get there. From there, they worked together to divvy up the work, scheduling weekly meetups at the library to review and discuss their findings and any hiccups. 

Andrei was unexpectedly easy to work with, accepting the pieces she assigned him without complaint. Sure, he was still more committed to hockey than the project, but he still managed to complete his work (almost always by the deadline), and usually with minimal nudging on her end. He was a hard worker, always had been; she saw it every time he stayed late after practice to work on his one-timer, or the time he spent studying at the library, his thermos of tea gone cold beside him while he worked on his flashcards. He was smarter than she remembered, too, certainly not relying solely on her brain but contributing his own valuable insight and analysis to the project, even pointing out a hiccup she would have otherwise missed.

A lot had changed in two years, but Vivian was surprised to find that many things stayed the same, too.

Andrei still had the same endearing laugh, the one that made his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, and the same goofy sense of humor and positive attitude that she fell in love with. He still stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he concentrated hard, and sometimes still muttered to himself in Russian when reading an English article. 

Vivian was equally surprised that he still remembered her coffee order. About three weeks into their weekly library meetings, he started bringing a fresh cup for her—iced, with toffee nut syrup and a splash of almond milk—occasionally adding something different, like cold foam or an extra pump of vanilla syrup. It was a sweet gesture, something she continually offered to pay for, that he would wave off and smile, saying ‘it was the least he could do’ because she was the one keeping the project afloat.

Mostly, Vivian was startled by how easily she fell back into stride beside him. Things were different; she’d changed, and so had he, but the foundation of their relationship was still strong, having weathered the storm of time. While part of her felt like she was getting to know him all over again, there were parts of her that felt like she was reuniting with an old friend—and in some ways, she supposed, she was.

Having Andrei thrust back into her life wasn’t something she was expecting, and she was unprepared for how having him in such close proximity would affect her. Though they were amiable, she tried to keep him at arm’s length out of pure precaution, keeping the majority of conversation about the project and surrounding schoolwork. But, of course, it was only inevitable that there were extra details thrown in now and again; a synopsis of his latest game, his brother’s success in the NHL, his upcoming Finance exam. 

As the weeks went on, she began to piece together the parts of him that she’d missed, adjusting to the way it felt to have him reclaim a regular place in her life. The details of him that she’d forgotten, like his missing tooth and the way his hair flipped out slightly at the ends when it got long, came trickling back into her conscience, unexpected but not entirely unwanted.

On the nights where their project work went late, Andrei would walk her home, refusing to let her walk on campus alone at night. They’d laugh, tell stories, joke around about the crush Andrei had on Professor Janes. It was subtle, patient, slow in the way the rift between them began to shrink, a small but crucial crack in the hardened shell around their hearts. 

The project itself was going swimmingly. It was everything else surrounding the project that was confusing.

Andrei was deep in an article about eCommerce operations, Vivian typing away across from him, when the buzzing of Andrei’s phone startled them both. With a glance at the screen, Andrei grimaced when he saw his Coach’s name appear. Sending an apologetic glance in Vivian’s direction as he stood, he stepped toward the door to take the call in the hallway.

“Hey, Coach. I’m at the library. What—?”

“I just got the midterm reports, Svechnikov. A ‘D’ on your Finance exam?”

Andrei’s eyes closed and he sighed, bringing a hand to his temple. “I know, it was a bad exam.”

“I don’t have to remind you what failing your classes looks like for both this team and your future.”

“I know, Coach. I hear you.”

There was an edge of empathy in the otherwise cool frustration of his Coach’s voice. “I understand that it can be difficult to juggle school and sports, but the rest of your teammates are doing just fine.”

Andrei choked out a weak I’m trying, doing his best not to give his Coach unnecessary attitude.

“Get a tutor if you have to. Playoffs are only a month away, and I need you to have your shit together. Okay?”

“Okay,” Andrei sighed.

“I’m serious, Svechnikov.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. See you at practice later.”

“Yeah. See you.”

With another frustrated sigh, Andrei hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair while he composed himself. When he moved back toward the door, he noticed that it was cracked open and prayed that Vivian couldn’t hear his conversation. 

“Everything okay?” she asked once he came back in, not glancing up as she continued typing on her laptop.

“Yeah,” he smiled, settling back into his seat and returning his attention to his own laptop screen, though he couldn’t bring himself to resume his article perusal, staring blankly at the cursor on his document. 

There was a moment of pause as Andrei assumed Vivian bought his lie, his Coach’s voice echoing in his head. Then, her voice broke the silence. “Does your coach always call you to ask about your exams?” 

Andrei’s eyes shot to hers, a mix of surprise and embarrassment flooding his body as he realized she’d heard the conversation. Fuck.

“It’s nothing,” he said with a half smile, attempting to brush off the encounter nonchalantly.

“Andrei,” Vivian said softly. The warmth in her brown eyes told him that she saw right through him, just like she always did.

There was another pregnant pause as he debated if he should open up, a pivotal turning point in their relationship coming upon him all at once. Something unseen inside of him pushed him to go on, and reluctantly, he admitted, “My grades are… bad. If I fall below a 2.6 GPA, I’ll be on academic probation and I can’t play.”

“What are you at?”

“2.74.”

Vivian was unable to stop the sharp intake of breath at his confession, which caused Andrei to look at his lap bashfully. He wrung his hands together, twisting them as he sat in his discomfort and shame, embarrassed in front of his ex-girlfriend who had only ever received one ‘C’ in her life. It was a miracle she’d ever been interested in him, the dumb jock, in the first place, only logical for the smartest girl in school to move on to someone bigger and better than him.

“I’m working on it,” he said quickly, in defense of himself. “It was just a bad exam. I’m shit at Finance. It’ll be fine.”

She didn’t have to say anything, instead watching him understandingly, reading right through his confident facade. Her eyebrows raised, silently telling him she knew he was feeding her bullshit, and before he knew it, the words were spilling out of his mouth, a confession of his guilt and worry for his future. He had made the decision to stay in school, finish his degree before heading to the NHL despite the fact that he would’ve been eligible after his junior year. He felt like a failure, delaying his hockey career to get a degree that, at that point, he wasn’t even sure he was capable of getting, afraid of flunking out before the semester’s end—in which case, all of it would have been a waste.

“I’ll help you.”

“You what?”

“I’ll help you. I can tutor you.”

“Viv, you don’t have to—”

“Andrei,” she said firmly, “my grades are tied to yours now. If you’re not doing well, then I’m not either.”

“But Alpha Zeta, and—”

“We’re already here together once a week. It’s not a big deal to add on some homework, too.”

She had a point. And she was one of the smartest in his class, majoring in Finance. It really would only just be a little extra help here and there. If he was being honest with himself, it would be silly for him to decline. 

His eyes held with hers, searching desperately for the words he could use to thank her. Nothing came, only jumbled bits of Russian and English that would surely not make any sense if he said it out loud, so instead he stood up, crossed the room, and engulfed her in a hug. She seemed taken aback, but she relaxed once he gave her a tight squeeze, a hug that was reminiscent of the last one they’d shared together two years ago.

“Thank you, Viv.”

March Tutoring Andrei came natural to Vivian, a fond parallel to all of the times they had spent studying together freshman year in her dorm. What’s more, she found herself looking forward to their study sessions—she intentionally used that term rather than ‘study date’—though she told herself it was because they were finally seeing tangible progress on the capstone project, and it felt good.

She didn’t know why she offered, or what made her blurt it out as soon as the thought arrived in her brain. She only knew that she felt an overwhelming urge to help him, to not let him fail his dreams—even if a Bachelor’s degree ranked second on that list. 

Sure, she liked the ego boost that came from being smart enough to tutor someone else, but the more they met, the more she learned that she liked Andrei best when it was just them two in a study room, free to be himself without the outside pressures of the world. Out there, he was expected to be something, as was she, but being alone with him reminded her of the Andrei she used to know and the late nights they’d spent talking about dreams and goals and aspirations in the comfort of her dorm room.

As the semester progressed, Thursdays became Vivian’s favorite day of the week. Having only two classes and a large break between them, she was typically able to get caught up on the majority of her work. Surely, it was the rewarding sense of accomplishment that made her love Thursdays and had nothing to do with the fact that Thursdays were also her weekly meetings with Andrei.

Yeah, sure, they often ended up staying at the library late into the night, chatting as they worked on the project or his latest Finance assignment. And, sure, sometimes she’d feel his eyes lingering on her when he bid her goodbye. But those were minor details, obviously. Vivian certainly didn’t look forward to hearing the sound of Andrei’s laugh and the way his dimple lit up his entire face when he smiled. And she definitely didn’t like the way he felt sitting beside her, the way his arm would sometimes brush against hers when she’d lean over to look at his textbook. 

No, Andrei absolutely, positively, had nothing to do with why Thursdays had grown on her.

The weekend before spring break was always a big party weekend, and this year, Pi Kappa Lambda’s “Life’s a Beach” party was the hot event of the season. Despite not having enough time in his schedule to formally rush and commit to a fraternity, Andrei was close with many of the Pi Kap brothers, and it had become the unofficial athletic fraternity. Needless to say, Andrei had the date marked for weeks. Pregaming at the hockey house with Jimmy Buffett on blast, he was excited for a highly-anticipated evening of drinking and debauchery.

Andrei was talking with a teammate when a group of girls walking in caught his attention. He wasn’t surprised to see Vivian there—Pi Kap was one of the top fraternities on campus, and while he had never really bought into the whole ‘social tier’ thing, he understood the importance of appearances at these types of functions. She looked good, he thought, with her safari hat, Hawaiian shirt, and those cutoff shorts that displayed her perfect legs. 

Vivian didn’t seem to notice him, engrossed in greeting her friends, but he continued to watch from across the room, admiring her commitment to the theme and, of course, the way her unbuttoned shirt gave him a view of the slope of her breasts. The more Malibu he consumed, the better she looked, unable to stop himself from glancing back over at her even as he made conversation with other people. He never approached her–partially because he was a little too inebriated to say anything that didn’t involve her tits–but, really, he was just content to watch from afar, observing the infectious impact she had on everyone around her.

Unfortunately, that also meant that he had to begrudgingly watch when she began to dance with a guy—some junior-frat-rat with a disgusting mustache on his upper lip. Andrei gritted his teeth as he watched his slimy hands make their way onto her hips, toying with the frayed end of her cutoff shorts in the way that he would have if she was still his girl. 

Andrei didn’t really know the guy—Derek, he thought his name was—but he knew for a fact that he didn’t deserve her, wouldn’t treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Did he even realize who he was dancing with? 

Had he been sober, Andrei probably would’ve written it off as two people dancing at a party, harmless, most likely meaningless. But he wasn’t sober, and Drunk Andrei was convinced that Dirty Derek would be popping the question anytime, and it drove him mad, his fingers itching to wipe that smug mustache off his face. 

Fortunately, Drunk Andrei was also smart enough to know not to interfere–or maybe it was his Coach’s voice in his head warning him not to do anything stupid before the playoffs. Either way, Andrei kept to himself and his rapidly depleting mixed drink. He’d had his opportunity with Vivian, and had thrown it away just as easily; it was his burden to bear, not hers, left to muddle whatever his feelings were for her alone.

So, instead of wallowing in his own pity, he turned his attention to the pretty blonde girl who had been flirting with him all night. Like any other 20-something-year-old boy, it was all too easy for him to forget about his long lost lover in a great pair of tits. As he kissed her, his tongue wrestling with hers against the dirty wall of the frat house, the coconut rum impairing his system was just enough to allow him to imagine she was Vivian.

April

The sound of buzzing didn’t quite wake her, but the sound of her phone falling on the floor certainly did. Startled, it took Vivian a moment to recognize that her phone was, in fact, ringing. With a groan, she heaved herself out of her cocoon and leaned out of her bed to grab the phone, an unfamiliar number flashing across the top.

Vivian silenced it, wondering briefly why they were calling in the middle of the night, and figuring whoever it was would leave a voicemail if it was really important. Glancing at the time—1:17am—she sighed in frustration when she calculated she’d only been asleep for 2 hours before being interrupted by a call that wasn’t even important. Annoyed didn’t quite do it justice.

But then the ding on her phone alerted her to a voicemail. All she had to see was “Andrei Svechnikov” on the transcription before she was hurriedly pressing the phone to her ear.

Five minutes later, she was shoving on some boots and a coat before jumping into her car to drive to the campus security office.

The parking lot was almost empty, save for the handful of campus security vehicles. When she walked inside, Vivian’s eyes connected with a blonde woman behind the desk, glancing up at the sound of the door. 

“Hi, are you Ms. Evans?” 

She nodded. “Is Andrei okay?”

“He’s alright, just had a few too many,” she explained, causing a wave of relief to rush over Vivian. She’d process what that meant later. “One of our guys found him stumbling alone and picked him up. He’s over 21, so he won’t be charged with anything; we just wanted to make sure he got home safe.”

Vivian nodded in understanding, thankful for once that campus security was doing their job—she remembered the times she’d dreaded seeing their vehicles pulling up to parties when she was younger, having to slip out of a back window more times than she’d care to count. She sat as she waited for one of the security officers to retrieve Andrei from one of the back rooms, also thankful that they’d kept their hockey team’s star player hidden from public view while he was obliterated.

The tall Russian stumbled into view, his arm sloped over an officer’s shoulder as he helped walk him down the hallway. Vivian grimaced, noting Andrei’s bright red cheeks and disheveled hair. If she had to guess, she’d bet it was Jose Cuervo that did him in; tequila always made him lose his mind. 

“Viv!” he shouted excitedly, a bright smile lighting up his face when he saw her waiting in the lobby. “You here! Did you get invite to party, too?”

She shared an amused glance with the officer before saying, “Yeah, Andrei. I got invited to the party, too. But it’s over now, so we have to go home, okay?”

Blowing a raspberry in disappointment, Andrei pouted, but agreed. “Ohhhh-kay Viv. If you say so.”

Vivian thanked the officer for helping her six-foot-something ex-boyfriend into the passenger seat of her car, set up with a spare towel just in case he couldn’t make it home without getting sick. 

“Andrei,” she said to him once his seat belt was fastened firmly against his broad chest. “Do you have your keys?”

“You so pritt… ty,” he replied, slumping over against the window, the coolness a relief against his warm skin. Vivian did her best to ignore the compliment, writing it off as drunken nonsense.

“Andrei,” she repeated, more stern this time. “Are your keys in your pocket?”

“Why? You–” Hiccup. “–you comink over?”

Vivian took a deep inhale in, swallowing her frustration before she turned to look at him. “Andrei, you need to go home. Can you get into your house? Do you have your keys?”

Whether it was the firmness of her tone or the look in her eyes, something about her third attempt made Andrei swallow thickly, blinking slowly as his hands fumbled around his pockets. Her heart sank when his hands came out empty, a frustrated sigh leaving her mouth. Back to her place it was.

Andrei mumbled mostly nonsensical Russian as she drove back to her apartment, drifting in and out of silent moments as he’d doze off. The few moments of sleep he got seemed to help only slightly as she helped get him out of the car, legs nearly buckling under his weight as she helped get him inside. 

It was only after she stepped into the living room that she realized she had a decision to make. Her bedroom was upstairs, the couch downstairs. Technically, her ensuite bathroom was much closer to her bed than the ½ bath on the main floor was to the couch, plus she knew she wouldn’t be able to hear him getting sick if he stayed downstairs.

So, begrudgingly, Vivian steered Andrei toward the stairs, thanking the powers above when he began to put one foot in front of the other to climb them. She barely had time to think about how he hadn’t been inside her bedroom since they broke up two years prior. Now with a different mattress and a different bedspread—she’d upgraded to a larger mattress once she moved into an off-campus apartment—the thought that Andrei hadn’t ever been in this bed briefly flitted across her mind before he was stumbling forward into it, falling face first into the pillow. It wasn’t exactly what she envisioned when she thought about Andrei in bed—not that she thought about that, either. Not that often, at least.

Based on the instant snoring, Vivian assumed he’d cashed out for the night, and entirely dead weight, he’d be impossible to move. So, she retrieved the small trash can in her bathroom and set it next to him, moving his head to the side in case he did get sick in the middle of the night. She tugged off his shoes and pulled an extra blanket over him since he’d fallen on top of the comforter. 

Thankful that her housemates were all asleep—not wanting to deal with explaining why her ex-boyfriend was asleep in her bed—Vivian retrieved an extra glass of water, along with a few extra Tylenol from the cabinet to set on the nightstand beside him. She tugged off her own coat and shoes before crawling into bed, unfamiliar with the dip he created in the mattress.

“Viv?”

The sound of his slurred voice and thick accent startled her, surprised that he was still conscious. 

“Hm?”

“Did you kiss him?”

“Kiss him? Kiss who?”

Andrei was silent for so long that Vivian thought he’d fallen back asleep. “D… Derek.”

“Derek?”

“From party... Beach party.”

The memory came flooding back, her vodka-infused night at Pi Kappa Lambda a few weeks back blurry but still recollectable. She didn’t know he’d seen her indulging in the warm touch of her dance partner, but what Andrei didn’t know was that though she was dancing with Derek, it was flashes of a tall Russian that filled her mind, imagining it was him running his hands along her sides. And when her fleeting sobriety returned to her in flashes, and she realized it wasn’t Andrei, she couldn’t bring herself to go home with him despite the throbbing need between her legs. 

“No, I didn’t kiss him, Andrei.”

Andrei hummed. “Good.”

Despite her foggy memory, Vivian couldn’t ignore the pang she felt in her heart as the image of Andrei kissing the pretty blonde Delta Phi in the corner, his lips no doubt working their sinful magic against hers. How could Andrei be bothered by her dancing with someone when he’d been doing the same with another girl?

“But you kissed that girl.”

He hummed again, this time accompanied by a loose wave of his hand. “Yeah. But was finkink… was finking ‘boutchu.”

In the pause that followed, as she tried to process what Andrei had said, the end of his sentence was soon punctuated with a loud snore. Not that she would have even known what to say to begin with, confused, disappointed, and relieved all at once. As she listened to his uneven but deep breathing, she pondered his words in his head until she fell asleep, the warmth from his body shielding her from the cool air in the room.

The next morning, she awoke to the sound of Andrei groaning loudly. What she saw when she opened her eyes, though, was not what she expected. Somewhere in the middle of the night, he’d stripped off his sweatshirt and his shirt, his chest entirely bare save for the familiar silver cross that hung from his neck. Before she could stop herself, her eyes were trailing down the muscles of his pecs, down the line of his abdomen, admiring that he was in even better shape than he had been when they were together. 

Fortunately, Andrei didn’t notice, instead busy rubbing his eyes and wincing at the movement. “Oh, fuck. Feel like got hit by truck.”

His accent and lack of pronouns were endearing, and she nodded toward the glass beside him. “There’s water and some medicine on the table. You should take it.”

With his eyes still closed, Andrei mumbled a thank you, groping blindly for the pills. Instead of grabbing them, though, he knocked the glass over, spilling water all over her nightstand and the floor. “Fuck. M’sorry.”

With a sigh, Vivian heaved herself out of bed, grumbling under her breath as she went to retrieve a towel. She refilled his glass with water from the faucet, thrusting the cup into his hands a little more forcefully than she intended. 

For a moment, the only sound in the room was that of him gulping down half of the glass, quenching only a portion of the Hungover Drought in his mouth. Breathing heavily, he laid his head back and shut his eyes tightly.

“Did we… ?”

Vivian resisted the urge to laugh, instead raising her eyebrows in an amused way. “You could barely walk, let alone make any specific body parts function.”

He hummed, then, “What happened?” 

“I don’t know. You had a lot to drink. I got a call from campus security at one in the morning to come pick you up.”

Andrei shut his eyes again; whether he was racking his brain for a memory, or willing away his hangover, she wasn’t sure. He let out a deep groan, the kind that she could practically feel the vibrations from.

“Come on,” she urged, nudging his shoulder gently. “Can you stand up? I’ll take you back to your apartment. By the way, you lost your keys.”

Andrei groaned loudly, fumbling in his pockets before he let out another. “Fuck, I lost my phone, too.”

“It’s over here, charging. It was almost dead last night,” Vivian explained, unplugging it and handing it to him. With one eye open, Andrei squinted at the screen to send a text to his roommates to see if someone could let him in.

They sat in silence for a moment, Andrei’s eyes closed tightly as he did his best to will away his hangover. Vivian listened to the sound of his breathing, doing her best not to glance at the way the muscles in his core rippled as he breathed. 

“Viv,” he said softly, glancing at her as if afraid of how she’d answer. “No one’s answering.”

With a heavy sigh, Vivian rolled her eyes and threw her head back in frustration. “Of fucking course they’re not.”

“It’s not my fault!”

“You’re the one who lost your keys and got yourself in this situation,” she shot back, standing up. 

“Where you going?” 

“If you’re going to stay here, you might as well shower. Might help you feel better. Hopefully they’ll answer by the time you’re done so I can get on with my day.”

“If you’re going to be so cranky, why did you even come last night?” he asked.

“Because I got a call from campus security at one in the morning, Andrei. Scared the shit out of me. I thought you were dead or something, but instead you were just obliterated out of your mind. Great time to get belligerently drunk, by the way, two days before our presentation. You should be grateful they didn’t charge you with public indecency or something.”

“Oh, yeah, because I definitely got picked up on purpose–”

Vivian scoffed, rolling her eyes. She tossed the towel at him, purposefully covering up his bare chest so she didn’t have to keep looking at it. 

“Why did you even have them call me? I’m not your–” she swallowed the word girlfriend, “– you have other friends. Teammates.”

It was Andrei’s turn to scoff, ignoring her question in favor of sitting up and pausing for a moment to let the lurching in his skull subside. She watched his long fingers massage his temples, though she knew it wasn’t helping by the way his brows furrowed on his forehead.

“I didn’t tell them to call you,” he finally said. “They called because you’re still my emergency contact.”

“I’m what?”

He shrugged. “My parents and brother obviously aren’t here. I just never changed it.”

Vivian didn’t know if she was touched, or annoyed, or sad—or maybe all of the above. At the end of the day, she had still dropped everything to make sure he was safe; would always come if he needed her to. No matter what she did, she couldn’t deny that she cared about him, deeply.

As he showered, she pondered what all of it meant. And when she dropped him off, making sure he was safely inside his house before driving off with a wave, it hit her so hard she had to pull over on the side of the road.

She wasn’t sure if it was a still, or an again, the details not mattering much. All she knew is that she was in love with Andrei Svechnikov. 

While everyone else was preparing for the end of the semester and exam season, Andrei’s season was approaching its peak as BU prepared for the Frozen Four. As anticipated, his name had been announced as one of the three finalists for the Hobey Baker, adding an additional layer of pressure to his game. Although he already had been drafted and had his future in front of him, he couldn’t deny that it’d be extremely flattering to win the award—but he’d trade it without a second thought if it meant he could raise the championship trophy with his teammates.

The increased training meant less time to study and complete his homework, which also meant less time with Viv—though, as their presentation day grew closer, their communication amped up naturally. Andrei found that he was willing to put off the rest of his work in favor of focusing on the project, in part due to it being such a large portion of his grade, but largely because he couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing Vivian. 

Before he knew it, presentation day had arrived. Andrei made Vivian promise that she’d get a good night’s sleep—and she claimed she did, though Andrei noticed that she’d made changes to the slideshow at 12:06am, no doubt combing through every inch one last time.

They were driving together to CyberComm’s headquarters, a large high-rise in downtown Boston. Andrei met at Vivian’s apartment, waiting patiently while she checked her bag to ensure the flash drive with the extra copy of the presentation was tucked safely in the pocket. As he waited, he smiled when he noticed the vase of flowers sitting on the kitchen table; a ‘thank you’ he’d sent after the campus security fiasco. He also couldn’t help but notice that although Vivian was dressed professionally, he was pleased that her attire revealed the slightest sliver of skin on her chest, instantly reminding him of the cleavage he’d caught a glimpse of at the Pi Kap party. 

Vivian drove to the office, allowing Andrei to continue casting glances at her as she navigated traffic. His eyes slid over the shape of her lips, the dip of her nose, the way her dark hair spilled over her shoulders in luxurious curls—the ones that, in his opinion, always made her look like a model. She was beautiful.

Not that his opinion on the way she looked had ever wavered, even after they broke up. He had always thought she was pretty, and had since the first time he saw her during freshman orientation—it was half the reason he’d asked her to join his volleyball team. But something about the way the sun lit up her skin, casting a glow over her made his heart beat just a little bit faster. She was confident in herself, but not cocky; essentially, everything he aspired to be as an athlete. Even two years removed from their relationship, Vivian was still inspiring him to be a better person.

Once they arrived at the office, Vivian checked in at the front desk. While they were waiting for Sherry, the Executive Assistant to the CEO, to retrieve them in the lobby, Andrei’s nerves began to kick in. They sat in silence, Andrei running through his script in his head until the warmth of Vivian’s palm on his leg brought him back to reality.

She offered a smile that reassured him, only just then realizing his leg had been bouncing as he waited in his nerves. His heart raced, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the sight of a woman walking toward them, or from the touch of Vivian’s hand on his thigh. Either way, he didn’t have time to think about it, for the woman approaching them introduced herself as Sherry, offering to show them upstairs.

Sherry led them to a conference room with a long oak table and floor-to-ceiling glass walls, like an office straight out of Succession. Andrei admired as he watched Vivian channel her sorority recruitment charm as they were introduced to the CEO, VP of Sales, VP of Marketing, and VP of Operations. Vivian, he knew, was doing her best to ignore their decorated titles and the weight riding on making a positive impression; if she was as nervous as he was, she didn’t show it. Professor Janes sat on the other side of the table, offering an encouraging smile as Andrei set up their presentation and Vivian handed out the prepared booklets to each of the attendees.

Vivian’s voice wavered slightly as they started, but by the third slide, she was her normal, charismatic self, her practiced speech coming off as confident and rehearsed but not memorized. Andrei stumbled once or twice, a pink blush coating his cheeks as he smiled through it, glancing each time at Vivian for silent encouragement.

Thirty minutes later, the presentation was done, as were the onslaught of questions from each of the panelists. The VP of Operations, Janet, was the first to stand up to shake both of their hands.

“Thank you, Miss Adams and Mr. Svechnikov. I have to say that this has been one of the best, most professional presentations we’ve seen yet. Very well done.”

Andrei could barely contain his grin, thanking her and Professor Janes as Vivian tucked her laptop in her bag. Andrei led the way out the door with one final “thank you.” Once they were in the hallway and far enough from the door, he was spinning on his heel to lift Vivian up into his arms.

“We did it!” he exclaimed, spinning her around. “We fucking did it!”

“Andrei! Keep your voice down!” she scolded, though it was punctuated with a giggle that nearly punched Andrei in the gut.

“God, you were amazing,” he said, quieter this time as he set her down. “When they asked that last question about the inventory tracking, I completely froze. You are fucking incredible.”

“I know it inside and out,” she said, brushing off the compliment. “You did great, too, Andrei. I’m proud of us.”

“One of the best they’ve ever seen,” he mused, nudging her shoulder. “Put that on your resume, Viv.”

“Too bad you can’t use that skill in the NHL,” she joked.

—

Andrei barely had time to bask in the success of the presentation before he was on a plane to St. Paul for the college hockey championship tournament. Being a hockey school, his professors were more than understanding with their deadlines, many of them offering well wishes before he left for the short but significant tournament. 

As soon as he arrived, he was flooded with interviews in advance of the Hobey Baker announcement that was to take place before the game. Either way, it—both the media and the ceremony—was all a big distraction to Andrei; he had his sights set on a different trophy that was far more important than any individual award he could win. But, remembering his media training, he put a smile on his face and channeled his inner Vivian Adams.

When they called his name announcing him the winner of the award, Andrei was bashful and gracious, only allowing a smile once he was back in the locker room with his teammates who were waiting to congratulate him after the ceremony. A minor celebration—just the way he wanted it—before they were back in the zone, preparing for the semifinal game against Notre Dame. Truthfully, he was glad the award was done and over with, though he knew the questions would continue to come even once he made it to the NHL. 

After a hard-fought game—and a two point game for the Hobey Baker winner—the Terriers emerged victorious. Coach granted them the night to celebrate, though Andrei was very conscious of his alcohol intake; if all went according to plan, he’d be able to really celebrate in two days’ time, once he had the trophy in hand.

The night before the championship, Andrei tossed and turned, eventually dozing off into a dreamless sleep. He awoke the next morning to a text from Vivian, feeling a tug at his heart when he saw the familiar emojis next to her name; something she’d added herself at some point during freshman year and he’d never bothered to change them.

[Viv 😍🥰❤️‍🔥🎀🌼:] Congratulations, Mr. Hobey Baker! Good luck today! Bring home that trophy to Terrier Nation! 🐶

It was the only time Andrei allowed himself to be smug; something about Vivian being proud of him awoke the unfamiliar emotions in him. If Andrei thought hard enough, he’d have put two and two together then, but when he looked back on that day in later years, he’d blame it on the pressure of the game that made him blind to his feelings.

Despite his qualms and reluctance for the attention, it was only fitting for it to be Andrei who scored in OT, surely a goal that would be on his highlight goal for years to come. 

The horn sounded as confetti burst from the ceiling, raining a sea of scarlet and white over the arena. Andrei’s celebration with his team was cut short when the television crew encouraged them to line up for the presentation of the championship trophy. He was jittering, full of adrenaline; the words of the announcer barely registering with him.

When he lifted the trophy over his head, grinning from ear to ear, it wasn’t his family he looked for in the stands, but Vivian. She was the first person he sought out when he got back to campus, Pi Kapp quickly throwing together a celebratory championship bash despite being the week before exams. He didn’t expect her to be there, and she wasn’t, though that didn’t stop him from sending her one—or four—too many drunk texts inviting her out.

It wasn’t until several days later, as he was lying in bed and reading through the ‘good luck’ text she’d sent him before his Finance exam, that the weight of his feelings for her came crashing down on him. He knew he wasn’t Vivian smart, but he didn’t think he was that dumb either, to be completely oblivious to the way he felt about her. 

And of course, it was just his luck that his grand revelation came to him the night before graduation day.

The buzz of Vivian’s alarm went off at 7am, but she was already lying awake, staring at the ceiling. She’d woken up around 5:30, or thereabouts, unable to sleep for the swirl of emotions building inside of her. 

It was graduation day, which brought a bittersweet sense of pride. She was excited to celebrate, to reminisce on all of her and her friends’ accomplishments over the last four years, but she was also anticipating the looming goodbye to the city that had become her home—and everyone in it.

Of course, there was one person in particular that she was dreading saying goodbye to. Now that she had come to terms with her feelings for Andrei, she’d been mulling over what to do about them—tell him, and risk her heart breaking, or keep it to herself, and wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of her life. 

Surely, she assumed, Andrei was already thinking ahead to his future, ready for the bright lights of PNC Arena, the fame and glory of the NHL, and beautiful girls lined up down the street for the chance to talk with him. He’d be signing his first contract soon, worth more money in one season than she’d make in five years. There was no way he would even be thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend from his freshman year of college—not while he had the world at his feet.

Plus, there was the tiny detail that Vivian still hadn’t accepted a job offer, though she had received two to date; while one was in New York City, a fairly reasonable distance from Raleigh, the other was in San Francisco, on the other side of the country. Still, Vivian couldn’t shake the feeling that she should tell him, and she knew she’d never forgive herself if she kept it in and found out years later that he’d wanted the same.

Vivian had just finished applying her makeup when she heard a knock on the front door. Judging by the sound of it, her housemate was in the shower, and she knew the other two weren’t home, so she tightened the tie on her robe and ran downstairs to answer it. 

As she opened the door, Vivian came face to face with Andrei—or at least, face to chest. He was panting on the front porch, half dressed with his tie undone as he stood in front of her. 

“Andrei, what are you doing here? I’m trying to get ready—”

“I—you look beautiful,” he said, breathless. 

“Thank you,” she said, then repeated, “What are you doing?”

“I need to talk to you.” There was a fire in his eyes that told her it was important, so she stepped aside and let him in.

Before she could say anything, he was climbing the steps up to her room, two at a time, and she jogged behind him, confused.

“What is going on? You’re scaring me, Andrei.”

“I—I had to see you.”

She raised her eyebrows, silently asking for him to continue. He took a moment to catch his breath, then said, “I couldn’t sleep last night. I can’t stop thinking about you. I almost called you like, eight different times. And then it hit me.”

Vivian held her breath, anticipating what might be coming next, though nothing could really prepare her for the words that came out of his mouth.

“Ya lyublyu tebya,” he said.

Vivian stared at him, the foreign words hanging between them in the silence. Outside of the occasional curse word or when he was really drunk, she’d hardly ever heard him speak Russian, as he put much of his energy into learning ‘good and proper’ English once he had committed to finishing his degree at BU. “I… I don’t know what that means.”

Andrei smiled, his eyes warm as he looked at her. “I think you do.”

And she did. Vivian Adams wasn’t the smartest girl in her class for nothing. But in that moment, she wasn’t Vivian Adams, President of Alpha Zeta, Summa Cum Laude. She was just Viv. And fuck, if Viv didn’t love him too.

“Andrei…”

“God, I fucking love you,” he said, like he was unable to stop himself now that he’d said it once. “I don’t think I ever stopped. It just got hidden because you weren’t around. And then we got paired together, and I just—”

His monologue was cut off when Vivian lunged forward to press her lips against his. Suddenly, he didn’t give a single shit about what else had left to say, instead focused on kissing her back as he threaded his hands through her hair. He never wanted to stop kissing her, not now that he finally felt her perfect lips again.

For the moment, she was content to just kiss him, familiarizing herself with his mouth after being separated for so long. But when his tongue traced along the seam of her lips, she was all too eager to let him deepen the kiss, welcoming him into her mouth. Andrei’s hand gripped her jaw, keeping her pressed against him while his other hand wandered to her chest, massaging her breast over the soft fabric of her robe—the way he’d wanted to since he saw the glimpse of her cleavage at the party.

Soon enough, Vivian found herself lying on her back, Andrei’s large frame looming over her as he kissed his way down her jaw. Her hands roamed his broad, muscular back, feeling the divots of his shoulders as he held himself over her. The feeling of his mouth on the sensitive skin of her neck made her shiver, his tongue tracing the spot that always drove her crazy. Judging by the moan that slipped from her mouth, it was safe to say that spot was still a weakness.

“Andrei,” she mumbled, brain fuzzy as she searched for the words to say. “We can’t—have to—”

“I know, I know. Just give me a minute,” he pleaded against her neck, mouth making its way to her chest. “Please.”

‘A minute’ turned into ten, leaving her completely naked with his head buried between her thighs. A feral groan left his mouth when his tongue first lapped against her, instantly remembering the sweetness of the way she tasted. He’d never been a bad lover, but clearly the years apart had earned him a lot of practice, for his tongue flicking her clit sent her flying over the edge with ease. Smirking to himself, pleased with his ability, Andrei placed gentle kisses against the inside of her thighs as she came down from her high. 

“Viv,” her housemate called from downstairs, bursting her bubble sooner than she might have liked, “your parents are here.”

It only took a moment for Vivian to come out of her orgasmic haze, eyes widening as she realized the state she was in. Her eyes shot to Andrei’s, who was frozen with his lips on her inner thigh.

“Fuck,” she whispered, quickly standing up and gesturing for Andrei to straighten himself up. Then, she shouted down the stairs, “Hi, mom and dad. I’ll be down in a second—just finishing up!”

She was quick to throw on the dress she had set out, hanging completely forgotten once Andrei arrived. Her hair was only partially done, but she managed to salvage it by throwing a few loose curls in; fortunately, her head would be covered by her cap for most of the photos. 

It was only when she glanced at Andrei, wiping off the remnants of her orgasm in the sink before she realized how this would look. Obviously, this new stage of their relationship—where did this leave them?—was more than fresh; she wasn’t even sure if her parents would remember that she told them they’d been paired together for the capstone project. 

“I love you, too, you know,” she said, stepping forward to straighten his tie. He smiled, stealing another precious moment to press another kiss against her lips. “But now’s the real test—act normal with my parents down there.”

“And pretend I didn’t just have my head between their daughter’s legs?” he grinned. “Oh, baby, you know I’m a parent charmer.”

As expected, her parents’ reactions to seeing Vivian walk down the stairs flanked by Andrei was all but priceless. Her father visibly bristled, while her mother looked surprised but pleased—she’d always been a fan of Andrei.

Vivian hugged them both, apologizing for the wait and hoping they didn’t think too hard about Andrei descending from her bedroom at 8:30 in the morning. “Mom and dad, you remember Andrei.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Adams, it’s so good to see you again,” he greeted quickly, shaking her dad’s hand firmly and accepting a confused but gracious hug from her mom. “Viv and I had to submit a final analysis for our project—there was a glitch in the system.”

A weak lie, but Mrs. Adams was so pleased to see Andrei that she didn’t question it. 

“Andrei, will you be heading to the convocation center with us?”

“I’ve got to meet my family, but I’m sure my mother would love to meet you,” Andrei replied with a smile. “We’ll find you after the ceremony?”

Vivian nodded, sending Andrei off with a smile and a “see you soon,” followed shortly by an eyebrow raise from her mother once the door was closed. 

The ceremony itself was dull, but the day was a whirlwind nonetheless: many photos with friends and family (including a long-awaited introduction between the Svechnikovs and the Adamses), a boozy brunch with Alpha Zeta seniors and families, followed by a reminiscent stroll through campus, and finally a nice dinner with her family. Before Vivian knew it, it was 11pm and she was at the bar with her friends, taking celebratory shots that burned her throat. Vivian was happy, but something was missing.

And then that something came walking in, a smile on his face when he easily located her amongst the crowd. The dimple she’d always loved stood out, warmth flooding her body as he weaved his way through the throng of people toward her. 

“Hi,” she said, as if their earlier confessions left undiscussed made her suddenly shy around him.

“Hi,” he said back, mocking her a little bit with a playful smile. 

There was an elephant in the room—two elephants, really—crammed into the dimly lit room with 80’s music blaring over the speakers, but a packed bar full of fresh college graduates was hardly the place to address them. 

“You want to get out of here?” he asked quietly, jerking his head toward the door. 

Vivian didn’t have the words to describe just how badly she wanted that, instead nodding with a smile. He matched hers, following her out and completing an Irish Goodbye without a second thought.

The Uber ride back to her apartment was quiet save for the song playing softly on the radio, Vivian’s thigh pressed against Andrei’s in the backseat. His hand found hers silently, lacing their fingers in a gesture that went far beyond comfort in a dark car.

I saw you last night and got that old feeling When you came in sight, I got that old feeling The moment that you danced by, I felt a thrill And when you caught my eye, my heart stood still

Once again I seemed to feel that old yearning Then I knew the spark of love was still burning There'll be no new romance for me, it's foolish to start For that old, that old feeling is still in my heart

It felt like fate, and maybe it was, Frank Sinatra’s soothing voice warbling through the speakers about a love rekindled. Andrei hummed the same to her, softly, in the darkness of her bedroom as he took his time undressing her, unveiling each inch of her skin like it was brand new to him. 

Strong arms held her close as he laid her back against the bed, settling his body over hers before kissing her deeply. His tongue sought out her own, his hands running over her exposed skin as if he needed to re-commit it to memory. Their position was familiar, the same one they were in just over 12 hours prior, but the weight between them was much, much different.

This time, Vivian’s hands found Andrei’s slacks, palming the bulge she met with fervor and savoring the groan that left his throat. Encouraged and eager to produce that sound again, she dipped her hand beneath his waistband and wrapped her fingers around him, stroking him lightly.

“Viv,” he grunted, nose trailing along her jawline as he held himself up—barely. “Need—need to be in you.”

She agreed wholeheartedly, helping Andrei shuck his pants down his legs, joining her clothes on the floor. It was their first time being completely bare together in years, and though she shouldn’t have been surprised, Vivian was in awe of him, a sculpted Russian god in her bed. 

Andrei’s hands ran down her thighs, hoisting each of them over his hips as he settled between her legs. To slow down the moment, he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes gazing into her own before he kissed her deeply. Vivian could feel him, throbbing, bumping against the inside of her thighs, brushing against her core where she, too, was desperate to have him.

“Andrei,” she murmured softly against his lips, encouragement spoken in just a sigh of his name. 

She didn’t want him to stop touching her, whining reluctantly when he sacrificed a few moments to part his hands from her skin in favor of guiding his length toward her. Vivian had no breath left in her lungs when he finally pushed in, slowly, his considerable girth something she was no longer used to accommodating. Andrei stilled, telling himself it was so she could adjust; in reality, he needed the time just as much, fearful of busting his load far, far too early. 

No, Andrei wanted to savor this, to enjoy it. Though he’d had many partners since Vivian, none of them felt quite the way she did, squeezed him quite the way her perfect cunt did, made his balls tighten when she moaned out his name the way she did—but he hadn’t realized how much he missed her until that moment. Her skin against his lit him on fire from the inside out, and he was sure it was because of more than her body that he wanted to taste every inch of.

Andrei stretched her entirely, the feeling so incredibly delicious that all thought was absent from Vivian’s brain. All she could do was hold onto him, her hands caressing the skin of his arms, his shoulders, his back, her legs wrapped tightly around him as his hips dipped against hers. He was steady in his rhythm, patient, like he was following a beat only he could hear. 

When his lips found hers again, he drank in the moans that she offered, tugging her up toward him until they were seated and she was straddling him, unable to get close enough. His hands on her hips encouraged her to move, to drive herself toward the high she desperately sought, that he could feel in the flutter of her heat around him. With her head buried in the crook of Andrei’s thick neck, Vivian cried out as she came, her vision going fuzzy as the climax hit her like a freight train.

Andrei’s arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her closely as he, too, met his end, spilling into her waiting core with a grunt. His body was tingling, as was Vivian’s, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again, doing his best to pour the love that had been forgotten for the last two years back into her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, moments later when he was lying beside her, admiring the way her body looked wrapped in the sheet, pressed against his frame. The feeling of her, snug in his arms, made everything feel right in the world. 

Vivian smiled, shy, burying her face against his chest in embarrassment. He nudged her with his shoulder, adding for emphasis, “You are.”

“Drei…”

The old nickname fell from her lips without her even realizing, familiar and warm in so many ways. Andrei smiled at it, liking the way it felt. 

Silence fell between them, comfortable as they basked in the glorious haze. Then, Vivian’s voice spoke quietly in the darkness of her room. “I don’t want this to end.”

“What do you mean?” 

“We’re both leaving BU soon,” Vivian said, not ready to burst their bubble yet, but the words just kept coming out. “And I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I have offers in San Francisco and New York, and you’re going to be this hot shot NHL star, and I’m sure your DM’s are already full of pretty girls and–”

“Viv,” he interrupted her softly. “I don’t care about that. I want to be with you.”

“But… I applied to jobs all over the place,” she fretted, hating herself for letting her anxiety ruin their perfect, blissful moment. 

Andrei paused, nudging her jaw with a finger to encourage her to meet his eyes. “I lost you once; I’m not going to do it again. I want this, and if you do too, then we’ll make it work. Okay?”

“You mean that?”

“Eto vsegda byl ty, Viv. The girl in my story has always been you.”

–

The next morning, the light streaming through the windows woke Vivian up, stretching her deliciously sore muscles before she registered the large, warm body beside her. She took a moment to watch Andrei sleep, his chest gently rising and falling with his breath, features so relaxed and peaceful. 

When she rolled over to glance at her phone, she saw the notification for an unread email. The sound of her gasp woke Andrei up, startled at the sound.

“What? Are you oka– what happened?” he spluttered, taking in her wide eyes.

Instead of speaking, Vivian simply turned her phone toward him to show him what had tears brimming in her eyes: An offer letter for a Financial Analyst position with CyberComm.

“That’s great, Viv,” he smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Andrei,” Vivian said, sensing that he didn’t quite put it together. “CyberComm has an office in Charlotte.”

“Oh.”

“Charlotte is in North Carolina.”

“Oh.” 

Her eyebrows raised, watching the realization dawn on Andrei’s face as he processed. “You’re moving to North Carolina?”

“We’re moving to North Carolina.”

Vivian didn’t know if she should call it fate, chance, coincidence, but five months later when she watched Andrei debut in his first ever NHL game, a Svechnikov jersey proud on her shoulders, she decided it was best to call it the mystery of love.

[jeonghoneyss]

hi honey! i hope the end of the year is treating you well! 4, 5, 23, and 30 for the fic writer's ask game! <3

hi morgan! i've got my exams coming up in early-mid january, so right now i'm just spending a lot of time on maths! i hope to take a brief break afterwards, though. i hope the end of the year is treating you well, too. thanks for the ask! <3

4: What piece of media inspired you the most?

Well! This is a fun question. I'm going to say Disney's Descendants (I don't know if you've watched it?). Completely out of the blue earlier this year, I was struck with an intense bout of love for Descendants that reminded me that I am absolutely obsessed with Descendants, so I then wrote a small fic and rewatched the first move and spent two months being absolutely insane (and also had COVID at the same time). Looking back I think this was brought on by my May-Jun exams, because the same thing is happening now as my Jan exams approach. Such is life, alas.

I'm going to cheat and give you two more answers, too - in the summer, I read Frances Hardinge's Deeplight (an absolutely fantastic book, I definitely recommend it) and then wrote my junhao fic. I also read Garth Nix's Frogkisser! (another brilliant book) and have since been thinking very deeply about my batkisser wip.

5: What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

So! This year I actually wrote for quite a few fandoms! I had to go back and check, but it's actually been quite a good year of writing, and I've managed to post fics for four fandoms in total: I wrote three fics for Stray Kids (one of which Versity and I wrote together), one fic for Miraculous Ladybug, one for Descendants and (finally, as I've been meaning to finish a wip since 2018) one fic for SEVENTEEN.

23: Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

Since I'm in a Descendants mood, I'll share a bit from my Carlos fic - while I was writing this fic, I discovered that all my previous kiss scenes have had a pattern of not saying much about the actual physical kiss itself - it's all stuff like people discovering what other people's smiles feel like against their mouths, which is all well and good, but I wanted to work on that. Originally, this kiss scene was just going to be 'And Carlos discovered that he hadn't read it wrong at all,' which was perfectly serviceable (in fact, I kept it in the fic, in the paragraph right above the following one), but I wanted to write something that wasn't just "and then they maybe kissed." This might be a good time to mention I've never kissed anyone on the lips. Anyway. This paragraph was a bit of a struggle, but I think I did well enough in the end! It was definitely a good start, in any case.

Jay’s fingers find their way into his hair — gently, far more gentle than Carlos thought was possible — and Jay’s tongue is trying to find its way into his mouth, hot and persistent against his lips (it’s a bit much for this kiss, Carlos’ first kiss with asking and explanations and kissing-just-for-kissing, so he keeps his mouth firmly shut until Jay gets the hint, but it’s exhilarating all the same), and Jay’s other hand finds its way from his shoulder to the notch at his waist, and Evil, this might be the best thing to ever happen to him.

30: What's something you want to write in 2024?

Oh, what a question. I'd like to say Every WIP I Have, but I'll start with some of my most recent ones: the junhao batkisser one, the hyunho owls one, the hyunho catboys catfight one, the jeongho mommy issues one, the soonhoon fairies one (and the likely junhao sequel), the junhao where jun keeps leaving and also there's magic and baby seungkwan, the hyunho camera one and, finally, i'd like to iron out the details and actually star my junhao call off your dog one. Gosh. What a long list. Good luck to me. Oh! And the fic I'm writing with Versity, which we have both abandoned for the time being as, unfortunately, we are both very busy.

[sungbeam]

here to flood your inbox with the questions✨

BUT HI DUCKIE MEIMEI 💗

3, 4, 9, 15, 18, 19, 21, 23, (IM SO SORRY FOR STEALING SO MANY NUMBERS BUT THESE QUESTIONS ARE SO GOOD), 28, 29, and 34

signing off with love

- ash

ash jie !!!! tysm for ur ask ^_^ and omg ty for the influx of numbers hehe <3

fanfic writer asks

3. What's been your most popular fic this year?

oh it was definitely my beomgyu drabble mine !! it was the fic that got me a ton of my followers and it's my first post to reach 1k and 2k+ notes which was super exciting :')

4. What piece of writing are you most proud of?

find my answer to #4 here!

9. What's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly proud of?

hmm kind of a hard question cuz sometimes i think i'm a genius and other times i think a scene just doesn't work 😭😭 but ,,, i'll say i remember being super satisfied w lost at sea the pilot episode/chapter for my *cough* unfinished riptide!mark lee series ha,, haha

15. Are there are other writers or artists who have inspired you?

OH MY GOD SO MANY (´Д⊂ヽ i'm just gonna name drop :') @ethereal-engene ofc, @loveliestfelix @korijime @jaehunnyy @leejungchans @goldenhypen @/maijunejuly @petrichor-han @tranquilpetrichor @justalildumpling @polarisjisung @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l probs many more as well ksfbkenf but thank u all for being such amazing people who light up my dms and dashboard and make me want to keep writing and dreaming :')

18. Do you have a fic that you wish received more attention?

lmao a few tbh so i'll recommend a few 😁

— cruel summer (kim seungmin)

— the cage (yoon jeonghan)

— in all your endeavors, forever (kim hongjoong)

— 11:22am (jung sungchan)

19. What was your favorite comment, or piece of feedback this year?

definitely has to be ash jie's full review of in all your endeavors forever like having a whole post dedicated to a very through review of MY OWN fic just,,, omg it just made my day fr like woah mind-blown yk? so thank u sm jie :'( 💖

but in general, any feedback or comment just makes me so warm and fuzzy and excited !! once, someone told me they came back from the dead to remind people that i was one of the best writers here and tbh i could cry 😭😭😭 ??

21. Not a question, but a challenge! Say something nice about your writing!

*panics* UHM!! i,,, like that i've been improving in the description department? idk bro (´Д⊂ヽ like i'm trying to be more patient with my descriptions and i def have some work to do w solving my white room syndrome, but i think i'm getting better w touchy feely emotional things lol

23. What fic did you enjoy writing the most?

i actually really enjoyed writing the fics with crack/humor in them a lot! i write a lot of angst and i do enjoy writing that too, but i also love writing banter sm

will specifically mention this jungwon fic and this nct dream fic tho

28. What is your favorite story or chapter title you came up with this year?

OOH !!! uhhhhh i really like "cruel mercy" (wip), "bird hunt" (wip), and "dear chan, have you ever been in love before?"

29. What was the funniest comment or piece of feedback that you received?

AHAHHAHA when i posted the one beomgyu drabble for my october mini series, almost all the reblogs were talking abt how tf were those cheesy pickup lines attractive 💀🤡 tbh only beomgyu could make corny ass pick up lines attractive but yuh ✨ also whenever em rbs my stuff, she's so funny sjfnejfbj like i once posted a fic at 2am and she rb'd w smth like wait y aren't u asleep beam (ignoring the fact that she was also not asleep 💀)

34. What's the weirdest thing you researched for a fic?

LMAOO i don't think i remember half the things i google while in the moment tbh 🤣 but i vividly remember going down the rabbit hole of cheerleader positions and stunts for this one wip bc idk what any of that cheer stuff is called (´Д⊂ヽ and i think soon i'm gonna need to spiral down the dance rabbit hole too @_@ like figuring out waltzes and tangos and what that one dance intak did for isac :')

[practically-an-x-man]

Hello new friend!!! I have come to return the favor!

I'm gonna go with....

✨ 🤡 🌞 🦅 🤩 

Pick whichever or all or none, just as long as you have fun! Have a good day! 😍

thank you!! looking forward to answering these! Have a lovely day yourself, friend <3 <3

Fanfic Writer Emoji Asks - here

Answered below!

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Aww thanks! Honestly I'm really proud of my descriptive style - it's motivated by reading a lot of Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, and Douglas Adams, but I feel like I've developed this really fun blend of humor and creative description, and I'm really proud of it! Some of my fics have more humor than others (Who Waits Forever Anyway? and Heartstrings are probably at the top of the list), but I tend to get some humor going in just about everything I write

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

Particularly proud of some of the exchanges between Kyle and Jasper in Heartstrings. It's on AO3 if you want to read it, but here's a lil snippet:

“Aww, Mother Nature just broke up with Father Time,” Jasper joked, “Maybe she’ll take him back when winter rolls around. All those long, chilly nights…”

“You think he’ll leave her flowers?”

“Why would he? She’s got all the flowers she wants, she’s Mother Nature.”

“Yeah, but it’s romantic.” Kyle protested, “It’s not like he can give her, like… an hourglass or something. That’s not romantic.”

“But flowers? That’s like…” Jasper racked their brain for a good analogy, “That’s like cutting off one of her toes and giving it to her. That’s like Hannibal Lecter levels of creepy. She’d never take him back if he did something like that.”

“Okay, ew.” Kyle huffed, “Remind me never to buy you flowers.”

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I tend to write whenever I have time, usually whenever I'm done with my classes and homework for the day. But I feel like the words really start to flow once it gets to be later at night - it's like my brain's just tired enough not to overthink what I'm writing, and I can really dive into the scene.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Bit of both. I do rough outlines and make note of key details or interactions so I don't forget them, and I generally outline the next chapter right after I post the previous one (so I can keep the motivation going), but generally the brunt of the storyline just floats around my head. If I write too much down, I start to feel locked-in, and it's harder to let the story evolve the way it wants to.

🤩Who is your favorite character to write?

Ooh, good question. In terms of my OCs, I really enjoy writing Madison (Smoke & Mirrors) and Jasper (Heartstrings) because their banter with the other characters is always really fun to write. In terms of characters that aren't my OCs, I really like Alex Summers, Kyle Spencer, and Armitage Hux, because it's fun to explore their character arcs past what we're given in the original media. I feel like I've fleshed them out quite a bit from what we're given, and it's a really interesting challenge!

[sugareey-makes-stuff]

First fortune cookie rec list of the year, hell yeah! I’m already a day late, but I wanted to do this post justice so I could properly and wholeheartedly wish @anaxandria-writes​ a very happy belated birthday! Rin absolutely deserves a shout out for not only being a fandom enthusiast, but also a creative go-getter and an amazing fandom friend. It’s kinda crazy, because even though we’ve only known each other for maybe a couple-ish of years, it seems like we’ve been friends forever. I guess that’s what happens when we constantly scream and squee about all the things both online and offline (because yayy for being neighbors!). Honestly, Rin’s spirit kinda reminds me of the bright rainbow we all like to see in the sky. That’s probably reflective of her excitement about a lot of things, as well as her love for loud colours and patterns (trust me, I tried to see what I could come up with for the origami spread). We like rare pairs, and hell yes for being multishippers in multiple fandoms, and I’m super happy that we get to share not only HP as a fandom but also Teen Wolf! Yayy! I first got to know Rin in 2021 in the Rare Pairs server, and soon enough CoMs and the Wizarding Den servers and a gazillion other servers I can’t keep track of. That probably indicates we a lot of common interests to begin with, which isn’t a bad thing. One being Flintwood, though Rin has been a big influence on why I dipped my toes in this ship. And when I’ve needed a little bit of inspo for making art or writing fic, she’s already been my go-to person for all the headcanons about Marcus and Oliver. She’s also why I’ve started shipping Herbtamer too, but then again, it’s probably because she’s soo enthusiastic about these two, so how could I say no? Why not...Charlie and Neville are really damn cute together, okay? AND since we both adore Oliver Wood, that was how Wood Your Rather came to be as a prompt challenge since we wanted more Oliver works in general. WYR was the very first fest we both ran for fandom (and basically ever), and boy did we learn a lot about modding while also getting to know each other. I honestly couldn’t think of co-modding this event with anyone else, because one needs to really love Oliver to pieces to make something like WYR work. (P.S. stay tuned for more news on this year’s event very soon!). When it comes to fandom, Rin has done a little bit of everything. She’s a writer and an aspiring artist (and a great cheerleader)! I love that Rin has been trying out new mediums, techniques and ways to make different projects, which is so awesome. She’s definitely an influencer on why I’m currently writing a long ass text fic now (yes, it’s addicting and fun to write in this format, and I’ve recced her fun text fic below). And the progress she’s made with drawing is mind blowing since she picked it up again early last year. She’s dabbled in traditional and digital art, and I’m so excited to see what else she makes for 2023. Did you know Rin’s an embroiderer, crocheter and a knitter, and she makes some pretty gorgeous fanfic bookbindings? Okay, so bookbinding is NOT any easy thing to do, but Rin just jumped right into this hobby probably late in the summer and has made some really amazing books. Everything from typesetting to printing and getting things cased and pretty is a process. 8908908 kudos for doing the Lord’s work in making fics into something tangible and visually appealing to the eye. I know for a fact I’m probs going to peppering you with q’s as soon as I do have a chance to get my feet wet in bookbinding. If you want to see some Rin’s creative works, here are some of my favourite pieces of hers: 🌈 >>> A Very Owl Post WrtrGrl Anthology and Little Lost Things by flightinflame (Drarry bookbindings)

These two books were gifts Rin made for H/D Owl Post for 2022. All I have to say is look through the photos for each finished piece but also Rin’s process on how things came together for both of them, okay?! Seeing the WIP shots for a single book made by HAND is so cool. And well, pretty paper and fonts and seeing fanfics bound with love is really something special and should be appreciated. 💻 >>> Love Advice (Drarry and Wolfstar, T, 1.1k)

Summary: When it comes to advice about the boy he likes, Harry turns to Moony. Not Padfoot.

Yayy for epistolary fic! I love how fun these letters, and Harry going to Remus and Sirius for romantic advice. It’s sweet and endearing, and seeing Drarry from Wolfstar’s PoV through these letters is pretty hilarious, since it’s very obvious how different Remus and Sirius approach things. What a fun read! 🌈 >>> A Dragon and a Lion Celebrate Christmas (Drarry, G, Crochet)

Summary: What do you gift someone who has everything? Draco decides to make the Chosen One a.k.a. Harry Potter a.k.a. his boyfriend amigurumi versions of themselves for the holidays.

Another H/D Owl Post gift made by Rin, where Harry and Draco are cute AF as animals. They look so squishable! Since I have no crochet skills (yet..I’m working on it), I’m always impressed by folks who can make adorable and tangible creatures like this. And ones that stand up on their own...that’s super important for display purposes! 💻 >>> An Expensive Courtship (Drarry, E, 10.9k)

Summary: Draco spent years gathering up courage, then months of extensive planning, and literally tens of thousands of Galleons in his attempts to woo Harry. Harry just thought they were best friends.

LOL. I love Draco wooing an oblivious Harry in general. And them just being idiots. And the little cameo of Flintwood in this (yay!), and all the ridiculous attempts for the dates. This story totally pokes at the cliches, but that’s what made this fic so fun. Throw in some nosy ass friends, and of course everything seems like it’s a chaotic disaster, or in this case, a lot of misunderstandings. I’m glad Draco and Harry get their heads out their asses eventually and get together though. It just took them a while to move out of that friend zone. *pats them both on the heads* 🌈 >>> It Takes Two to Tango (Flintwood, G)

Summary: Dancing with Marcus Flint at the Quidditch League ceremony was not what Oliver Wood signed up for, but maybe it was what he needed.

SOOO. I know this was gifted to me, but I’m going to be very honest: When I saw this was drawn traditionally and just how well it fit the prompt, I was super giddy over it. I’m very lucky I have the original of this to look at whenever I want, but I think this was one of the first art pieces I saw of Rin’s as she was starting to dive more into drawing. I adore Oliver’s kilt and Marcus taking the lead, and they just look happy to actually be dancing with each other, okay? This has to be a fav of mine because it embraces the fluffier side of Flintwood. 💻 >>> Herbology_Neville and DragonKeeperCW (Herbtamer, E, 11.4 k)

Summary: When Neville starts live-streaming on WixenVid, he’s unsure who would want to watch him ramble about plants for an hour. DragonKeeperCW is very interested in the show (and in Neville).

AHHH! Gosh, this one is just so much fun! I love the Youtube feel of this which makes this stand out already as a story, and Charlie and Neville are so flirty yet soft with each other. The overall humour, sexual tension and fluff mixed ogether works so well. And they’re so true their passions: Neville with his plants, Charlie with his dragons, and when it comes to each other...yessss. :D 💻 >>> 🙀 ➡ 😻 ➡ 😽 (Marvel- Stony, T, 5.2 k)

Summary: Tony puts up a "Missing Cat" sign and not only 1) gets his cat back, but 2) meets a cute guy named Steve who keeps refusing the reward. A story told in texts, voicemail transcriptions, and, of course, an overuse of emojis.

OKAY, I know this is not an HP fic, but I had to include this because it’s hilarious, it’s a text fic, and YES. I’m not even in the Marvel fandom, but I was really intrigued to read a fic that was completely done through texts and gosh, it just works so well with show and tell, shenanigans and I love how people’s personalities can shine through the use of dialogue through technology vs. narration or talking face-to-face. I honestly was cackling by the time I was done with this read because it totally embraces Crack Treated Seriously to the tee. Love this so much! You can find more of Rin’s work on AO3. Make sure to leave kudos and comments to show appreciation for all of her fandom contributions. Rin, your willingness to be curious and try new things is contagious, and you have a way of making people’s day a little brighter. I’m so glad you’re part of fandom and that you’re so passionate about what you love. Keep being you. I hope you have a smashing day!

[chaotic-plotter]

@dreamerinsilico <3 sent me a lot of emojis and i'm going to answer them all. from this ask meme

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

is it cheating to say "any of them"? 😂

i haven't written all that many so there's not a lot to choose from. we'll go with "a lighthouse five hundred yards down". at the time, i never planned on writing it, but the idea hit me like a damn anvil one really stupid humid day in summer 2021 and i was haunted until i finally wrote it.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

the kind where people either tell me why something struck them or where they dive into language/images/etc. mostly because that's what i like to do when i read something (dive into language, images, etc) and also because, even though it's a super limited dataset, fic is the only place i can get random reader feedback (not writer feedback, i have critique partners). i come from throwing myself against (....and sliding on down) the glass hill of trad pub and had never actually gotten any kind of feedback/response from people who didn't know me or my writing before and it was really useful to see what people responded to, if they liked my style, etc.

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

funny enough.....yes? and also funny enough, i sort of get to? in a sense?

i started my long post-fall fic right after my first rewatch back in 2021 and i planned out the whole thing (yes it's still taking me 800 years to finish it, i apologize). but in reality, i sort of have a different outlook on will and hannibal post-s3 than i did at the time. and i'm really going to be rethinking the back half of that fic as i work towards finishing it.

so, essentially, yes, i wish i could rework those first 6 chapters (especially the first 2, wrt to writing style and tone especially!) to better fit whatever pivot i'm going to do in the last 4. i wouldn't change any of will's internal arc, i'm still happy with that, but there's plot stuff that i would.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

not one that anyone can read, but i tried, thinking it would be darkly funny and maybe a good time (why i thought this is a mystery) to write about will post sex with margot. but writing about it in a "will has had sex that was Not Enjoyable but hey it was Sex With a Real Human Person and is reminded of his profound loneliness and has a little cry in the bathtub about it" way.

.......yeah i legitimately made myself upset with that one and had to stop. maybe i'll circle back around to it when i'm not so profoundly lonely.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

i don't have any writing aftercare 😛 i probably should though

mostly i just take a couple of days off from writing after i finish something. idk, does checking your email hoping someone comments count as aftercare? i'm afraid i'm a terrible obsessive and putting things down is not my greatest skill, even if i am exhausted and glad to be done with actively working on them.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

hmmmmmm. well.

the next wip i actually have on the docket is a s1 nudist will au. i'm excited to jump back into hannibal's headspace after being outside of it for so long. he's absolutely insufferable and i can't wait to go full goose menace on everyone in the story (until it turns back on me and he never shuts up 😛)

and then, well, i've got another one-shot challenge after that, which is all about stretching muscles i rarely stretch 😏. i'm still deciding if i want to run a poll about it or if it should be a complete surprise

send me more asks if you like! i love these emoji meme post things

[laynefaire]

I was tagged by @allwaswell16 to post five fics of mine I really like (despite her knowing how very much I struggle with self-promotion). I’m going to tag @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed, @evilovesyou, @a-brighter-yellow, @haztobegood,and @crinkle-eyed-boo because sharing is caring . . . .

  Live a Thousand Lifetimes (57K)

It’s 2025.

After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour.

With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

I don’t even know where to begin talking about this fic. It started out as something that wasn’t supposed to be more than 4-5K words, and somewhere along the way this is where I ended up. I anguished over each sentence, researched way more than I probably needed to, and cried buckets of tears when I finished. This was also the story that reminded me that I am still a writer, even if the stories only matter to me.

Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light  (12K)

Harry Styles and his partner Louis Tomlinson have been dating for four years. Over those years, he has always known that Louis' biggest dream has been to see the Northern Lights in person. Harry arranges a trip to Norway as a gift for Louis, but little does Louis know Harry is also hoping to make his own dream come true, too.

While I much prefer to write Ziam, there are a few rare occasions where a Larry fic makes it’s way out of my brain. This story was intended for @kingsofeverything​’s 28 Proposals fest in the winter of 2019. Unfortunately, between a hospital stay, a trip to England, and Live a Thousand Lifetimes demanding my undivided attention, I didn’t finish it in time. However, finish it I did, the following spring, and dedicated it to Lauren for her friendship and patience when dealing with my unreliable arse. This is another story that I did an absolute tonne of research for because I wanted the details to be as perfect as possible.  

Untamed Hearts (68K) 

It could have been the heat of the summer sun; it might have been the silvered sheen of an early harvest moon. If he dug deep enough, Liam could find every reason ever needed to explain away what happened. In the end, though, it all came down to two meddling friends, a touch of Prince, a bit of Keats, and the moon over the ocean. Its a recipe for disaster. Or love. Probably love.

I started writing Untamed Hearts in late 2013, after two of my fandom writing friends challenged me to do it. They both left the fandom not too long after, but whenever I see the posts for this story, I remember them and all the fun we had together. They encouraged me to try my hand at writing in this fandom, and if I were to dedicate Untamed Hearts to anyone, it would be them. Thank you Sam and Jesse, for always believing in me.

For Evermore (17K)

A Beauty and the Beast AU in which Liam is the Beast, trapped in a world suspended in time, and Zayn is the only one willing to look past the facade of enchantment to find the humanity of the man hidden within.

Beauty and The Beast is my favorite fairytale and my favorite Disney movie.  When the mods for Disney Direction were looking for pinch hitters, and this story was still available, I jumped at the chance.  Being able to recreate it with my OTP was was like a dream come true, and having it received well by those who have read it has been amazing. 

Shadow Dancing (169K+)

As a small child, Liam Payne dreamed of being a firefighter. He took up boxing to defend himself from school bullies, but never lost sight of his dream. 15 years later, Liam is set to be the youngest brigade watch commander in his district, and his recent boxing win puts him in line for the British national title - if he can learn to get out of his own way.

Zayn took his first dance lesson at 5, after watching his sister's tap class. At 18, when an injury derails Zayn's dream of dancing professionally, he sets it aside to attend university, but the lure of dancing proves too great to ignore. He becomes an instructor, and eventually, the owner of a small dance studio, where he encourages other dancers to chase their dreams.

When their worlds collide in a cacophony of misunderstandings, Zayn, confronted with his own biases, realizes there’s more to Liam than meets the eye, and offers to help him prepare for his upcoming fight.

While Liam learns to dance, Zayn learns the art of compromise, and along the way, they find each other.

And when tragedy strikes, Liam finds that Zayn’s love will help him face the shadows of his past, and give him the courage to believe in himself and his dreams for the future.

Shhhhhh! Yes, I know it’s not done. Yes, I know it’s been a while since I updated. It doesn’t make me any less proud of this story - what is already posted, and where it is going. Once again, a story I have done a literal shit tonne of research for - there are over 100 links in my research folder. And while yes, they do fall in love, this story is more a journey of self-acceptance, and as I have explored the dynamics in my characters’ lives, I’ve also done a good deal of introspection on the ones in my life, as well. 

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which harry asks you for a favor and you get so much more out of it.

hi loves! here is my fic for @majorharry 20k fic challenge called ‘Do You Love Me?’

thank you to my lovely beta readers @fromyourstrulyh @bopbopstyles @stellarboystyles & @detroitkiwis love y’all!

enjoy 8.6k of friends to lovers bestfriend!harry with tiny angst and some smut!

prompt: “Should—Should we kiss?” & “Do You Love Me?”

please please leave feedback! a reblog and/or comment means so so much to writers! 

・・・・ 

The sound of a hard knock was what startled you from your sleep. 

You hadn’t heard it the first time, thinking you were just dreaming of someone knocking as you were peacefully sleeping. But the sounds were getting more aggressive as the minutes were going by, and you groaned hoping the person on the other side of the door would just leave. But they didn’t. You groaned as you sat up in bed, still half asleep as your hair was a mess. The time on your phone that kept lighting up from receiving text messages read 6:17 a.m, and all you thought was that the person trying to contact you and pounding on your door better have a good reason to wake you up at this ungodly hour. 

Barefoot, you walked towards the door, truly not giving a shit of what you look like at the moment as you prepare to tell the person to leave you the fuck alone. 

But the person behind the door was the one and only. The person you were closest to in life that was standing on your doorstep with a cup of coffee and a bag of, what you hope is, food. The man who is the earliest of the birds, and will wake you up at times when you should be sleeping for reasons unknown. 

“Harry? Are you serious right now?” The first words that come out of your mouth from hours of sleeping are annoyed and gravely. 

“Well aren’t you just a delight in the morning,” he chuckled, slipping by you to get into your house. You groaned, not prepared physically or mentally for a conversation when the sun had just risen not too long ago. 

He walked over to your kitchen table, setting the coffee and bag on top of it, and you could already smell the bacon that’s in your favorite breakfast sandwich from a small hole-in-the-wall place around the corner. 

That place held a special place in your heart--in yours and in Harry’s because it was the place you first met him. 

It was during the summer almost three years ago when you first moved to the city. You were getting to know the place and looked for great places to eat. After a search around the city and many Yelp reviews, you decided on ‘Cindy’s Food.’ You didn’t know how you ended up there, but since you had just moved, you were tight on money and your feet ached from the many steps you took in search for some food. 

Cindy’s Food was a self seating kind of restaurant with lovely staff and amazing food. It was an overall diner, and some people wouldn’t look twice at this place, but you were glad that you did because you wouldn’t have met Harry. 

You decided to take a seat in the middle of the restaurant without knowing what it would lead you to. As you ordered, you scanned the place and thought how comforting it was sitting there; not really paying attention to the people who sat as well. And the food arriving at your table took you out of your thoughts, impressed with how fast the service was. 

As you took a bite, you realized that your order was wrong. It was good, by all means, but not what you ordered. And you hated confrontation, especially when it came to the service industry, being a server as well once in your life. 

“Not good?” The man from the table beside you said, and your brows raised as you realized he was talking to you. 

“It’s good. Just not what I ordered,” you said as kindly as possible, not wanting to sound like one of those people who make a fuss about everything. 

“Are you going to tell them to change it?” You shook your head. “Why not?” 

“Just don’t want to start anything. And it’s good anyways, so I’ll eat it. That gives me the chance to try the rest on their very large menu,” you chuckled, making him smile. 

“I’m Harry,” he beamed from his seat as you noticed the dimples on his face. And not realizing how important he’ll become later in your life. 

As the weeks went on, you had gone back to Cindy’s Food and your eyes had perked up when you saw Harry sitting there in the same exact table when you had first met him. He waved you over and asked you if you’d like to join him, to which you accepted. 

“Are you gonna get the meal you originally ordered the last time you were here?” He asked, making you laugh. 

“Yeah, think I’m gonna get that.” 

And the rest was history. 

After many meetups at the diner, Harry had finally had the courage to ask for your number when you two had parted ways. He immediately texted you when he got home, and asked if you’d like to hang out another time. And you said yes every time. 

It was a friendship that had come unexpected, but you were glad for it. Moving to a new place was scary for you as you worried of not making any friends, but the first day after you completely settled and moved everything in, you had met Harry. 

And it became your thing--to bring each other your favorite meals from the diner; it was just something you two did. 

“May I ask what you’re doing here when you know this is my time to sleep?” You crossed your arms. 

“Yeah, I know, I know. But I risked facing a grumpy sleepyhead in the morning to visit you,” he took out the food from the bag. “But I come with gifts so you can’t be all that mad at me.” 

You shrugged, “Luckily, you did bring gifts or I would have let you in.” Harry fakes gasps, dramatically pretending to be hurt. 

“Is that any way to treat your best friend? The one who brings you food every three days?” He crossed his arms as well, matching your position. The action made the corners of your mouth turn up, knowing he loves teasing you. 

“Alright, alright. Thank you for the food. And remind me to get you a spare key since you lost yours...again.” You grabbed your sandwich, unwrapping it before taking a bite. The hot food was divine to your taste buds once you took a bite; fulfilling your hunger. 

“I didn’t lose it. Just misplaced it.”

“Misplaced it for 4 months?” You raised your brows as you took another bite. Harry’s pauses, lips turning up. 

“Okay, just get me a new one so I don’t have to deal with you asking me what the fuck I’m doing here and interrupting your sleep,” he said before taking a sip of his black iced coffee. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“I need a favor…”

“Oh, this is gonna be good.” You put your sandwich down on the wrapper and lean forward. 

Harry was nervous. Knowing he can tell you anything and everything, he felt a bit anxious. You were waiting patiently for him, knowing him all too well that he likes to take his time when it comes to speaking. 

And when Harry saw the look on your face, patiently waiting for him to say something with bright eyes, giving him all the attention, he stumbled. 

“I, uh…”

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?” Your tone changed into a concerned one, wondering why Harry seemed so anxious. 

Harry nodded his head, “Yeah. Just a bit nervous.” You said a soft ‘okay,’ giving him time to collect his thoughts. 

After a minute of Harry being in his head and figuring out how he can ask you nicely without sounding weird. 

“Whatever you have to say is not gonna sound weird, y’know,” you said as if you were in his mind. 

“So, I’m going back to my hometown and I was wondering if you would like to come with me?” He asked nervously, scratching his temple; a habit he does when he gets nervous. You gave him a look as if it were telling him there was nothing to be nervous about asking that question. 

“Harry, of course! I would love to see Anne again. Miss her to pieces,” you smiled, continuing back to your sandwich, taking big bites. 

“She misses you too. But I was wondering if you’d like to go as my girlfriend?” Your chewing stopped as you looked at him with wide eyes. 

It was the one moment where you were speechless; always loved chatting ever since you were younger and nothing could shut you up. Up until now. 

“Your girlfriend?” You said after you swallowed your bite. He nodded, hoping you wouldn’t take it the wrong way. “Are you...asking me to be your girlfriend?” You asked softly, but your heart was pounding loudly. The word girlfriend and Harry in the same sentence made your heart flutter as you wished so badly that the meaning and person behind the word ‘girlfriend’ meant you. 

“Well…fake girlfriend that is.” 

“Your fake girlfriend…” you repeated, still in shock and somewhat speechless because there was a tiny bit of hope in you, wanting him to ask you to be his real girlfriend. The idea itself made you anxious because you’d been in love with him ever since the friendship started, and you hated the idea that he had to pretend to be in love with you when you’d be doing the complete opposite. 

“It’s stupid, never mind,” Harry brushed off as if it was nothing, going back to his food and coffee. 

“Wait, no, no. I’d love to be your fake girlfriend, but can I ask why first?” You needed answers. It wasn’t unusual for Harry to ask for favors, but this was a different kind of favor. 

“Mum told me that there was this neighborhood picnic thing going on during the weekend, and this girl I dated from uni-”

“The nagger and clingy one?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one. Anyways, I told you we were in a long term relationship, practically all throughout uni. And so she’s going to be there,” he explained. 

“So you need me to be your girlfriend to make her jealous?” 

“Not necessarily jealous because I’m very much over her, but apparently she’s engaged. And if I tell her I’m not dating anyone at the moment, I just know that she’ll say some shit like we could’ve been together still or something. I don’t know! I just need you there.” Harry’s eyes were filled with plead, wanting his best friend on his side throughout the whole weekend.

Reaching across the table, you placed your hand on his, and looked him in the eyes. “Harry, I’ll be there.” A breath of relief came out of him, putting his head down, happy you agreed. 

“Thank you so much. Need you to be there so bad.” You smiled in response. 

“You just want me to be your girlfriend,” you teased adding a laugh. 

Harry laughed nervously as you continued eating, having no idea how right you were. 

・・・・

The ride back to Harry’s hometown was filled with loud tunes along with singing your heart out, and eating way too many snacks. 

It was about a three hour card ride, and he had told you that you brought too many crisps and whatnot, but you told him that it was necessary. 

There wasn’t a moment of dullness between you two. Always laughing, talking, and singing during the minutes. And when a silence washed over you two for a while, it was a comfortable one as you two sat, never feeling awkward. There were times when Harry would take a peek at you as your eyes were strained out the passenger window; noticing how peaceful you looked when you were simply lost in thought, and when you felt his eyes on you, you would turn your head towards him, he would quickly look away. And you had done the same: you would glance at him as he was focused on the road--admiring his features that you don’t find beauty elsewhere, thinking how insane it was that he needed a fake girlfriend, and that you were the one he picked. 

When he pulled into his driveway, you immediately ran out of the car, seeing Anne at the doorstep, beaming brightly. 

“Anne!” You jumped into her arms like a little kid. 

“Oh, darling! Missed you so much. It’s been ages,” she hugged you tightly. “Don’t go so long without seeing me again.” She placed both hands on the sides of your face before wrapping her arms around you for a warm hug. 

“I won’t. I’ll take a trip up here even if Harry doesn’t come along,” you said, and Anne chuckled, agreeing. 

“Harry is being forgotten at the moment,” Harry said as he walked up to you and Anne with both bags in his hands. 

“Always needing attention. Come here, sweetheart. I missed you just as much.” Anne hugged Harry, making him smile as he was in his mother’s arms. 

“You probably missed her more,” he teased. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Anyways, let’s go inside!” 

The house was the same as you remembered. Only being in their house a handful of times, it still felt comforting and like home. It wasn’t a large house, just right for their small family and for welcoming guests. 

“Think Harry can walk you up to his room. You both are sharing right?” She questioned with her brows raised. Harry had called Anne the day prior and told her the situation happening at the moment. Of course, Anne thought he was a bit crazy for that, but she supported his reasoning, knowing that he knew what was best for himself. 

Harry looked at you and you nodded. “Yeah, we're going to share. Thanks, mum. We’ll just put our stuff away.” He led you two up the stairs as he carried both of your bags. It was only a weekend trip, and you packed for a little more than usual as you were indecisive of what you wanted to stun his hometown neighbors with, so you brought all of the options. 

“You’re okay with sharing a room?” He asked, wanting to make sure you were alright with it. 

“Of course. We share a bed all the time when we have sleepovers,” you told him with a smile. “Besides, I’m your girlfriend now, so it should be fine.” 

Harry’s heart pounded a little harder, and you didn’t notice his sudden change of expression as you were shuffling through your belongings. You had no clue that he wanted that statement to be true. He’s dreamed of it since the friendship was 6 months in, realizing you were more than special when you planned a whole day of adventures when he had a bad day prior. It was that moment he knew how much you cared about him, how much it meant to you to see a smile on his face.

And appreciated the fuck out of it. 

He was in deep already. But he didn’t have the courage to ask you out yet; afraid of the rejection you might give him that will leave a dent in your friendship. He didn’t want that, and to his knowledge, he was all you had. 

“Think Anne knows something’s up?” You suddenly asked, causing Harry to snap out of his thoughts. 

“She knows. Told her about it so she doesn’t act surprised we’re acting like a couple.” 

“Great idea. So, what should I expect for tomorrow’s picnic?”

“Uh, everyone’s friendly for the most part. The oldies will gossip when they see us together, probably thinking ‘oh, good thing Harry found someone to settle down with,’” he said, giving his best impression of an old person. You chuckled at his goofiness, always loving his jokes even if they’re painfully horrible. It was just the effort that made you smile. 

“And what about your ex?” 

“Hmm. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen her in years so I don’t know how she is right now. But if she’s still anything like she was when we were together, then she’ll most likely stare you down. Be too possessive over me, probably to give you the message that she was the best girlfriend I’ve had, which is not true by the way.” You nodded, taking everything in and trying to handle the situation in your head if that were to happen. 

“Who’s the best significant other you’ve ever had?” You asked, curiously. 

“Don’t know yet. Never had the ‘best.’” He looked at you intently as it got quiet. The way he’s looking at you tells you that he wants to tell you something really bad, and you can physically see it in his eyes how much he’s holding back. You almost ask him to tell you, but if he’s controlling himself, there must be a reason why, so you don’t push it.

“I’m sure you’ll find whoever it is.” Your heart slightly sank when you said those words, ignoring the crack of your voice that just caused pain in your chest. 

Harry badly wanted it to be you. He wanted to show you off and be proud to call you his. Not like he’s not proud of calling you his best friend, but he longed for more. And you were so close yet so far, physically and mentally. He had no idea what you were thinking. 

And you were thinking of wanting to be called his girl, for real. The minor crush you developed on him the first few times you hung out with him blossomed into way more than you expected. But you didn’t know how you’d handle it or if you’d even do anything about it, so you’re trying to stay sane and keep your feelings intact. 

“Yeah, maybe. Just have to look at what’s right in front of me,” Harry leaned on his dresser, crossing his arms as he looked you in the eye. His stance was incredibly hot, and you wanted to jump his bones from the tension radiating between you two. And you were about to, not being able to think straight nor able to control yourself, but the soft knock on the door and the sound of Anne’s voice brought you right back. 

“I have dinner ready. Come down when you’re ready,” she said through the door. 

“Will do, mum!” Harry responded back, and you turned your back towards him, bending down as you pretended to search for something in your bag; not able to look him in the eye after your uncontrolled thoughts. 

“I’ll, uh…I’ll meet you down there?” You turned your head slightly and looked up, seeing him open the door. 

“Yeah, I’ll be down there.” He nodded before shutting the door and leaving you alone. 

You leaned back, your bottom hitting the floor as you let out a huff, thinking. 

This was going to be a long weekend. 

・・・・

The rest of the night was filled with chatting with Anne; catching up on each other’s lives and filling her in on if Harry is really doing okay than he says he is when he was in the restroom. 

You always loved having a talk with her, seeming like you could for hours and never have anything to fill the void that is silence. You three shared stories as you drank a glass or two of wine before she called it a night. 

“She loves you,” he said after he bid Anne goodnight and watched her walk up the stairs. 

“Yeah, I love her too. She’s the best,” you smiled. 

“That she is. Always teasing me that we should get together,” he slurred. The words slipped out of his mouth. At this point he blamed the wine, but he only had a glass and a half, and it was definitely something he thought about often. 

“Maybe you should listen to her,” you said ever so softly it was only audible to you, that Harry barely heard. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing. I’m gonna head up. You comin’?” You got up from your seat, and waited. He followed you up the stairs, trying very hard to look at his steps rather than your ass that was swaying five steps before him. But he may have had a peek at it and loved the view. 

You two got ready for bed, taking turns in the restrooms before laying side by side on his childhood bed. 

“Goodnight, love,” he said softly as he turned on his side towards you. 

“Goodnight, Harry,” you turned on your side, back facing him as you wanted to be the little spoon tonight. You slightly shifted back as Harry moved forward until your bodies were touching. He wrapped his arms around you, his face in your hair as you drifted off to sleep, feeling the most comfort in his arms. 

And you could’ve sworn you felt his lips on the back of your neck before you were lulled into the state of unconsciousness, dreaming of the man behind you and wishing there were no more secrets between you two. 

・・・・

The sound of Harry’s alarm woke you up as you were laying on the opposite side from when you fell asleep, but this time you were cuddled up to Harry’s back. 

Your body was insanely hot due to the body heat of yours and the sleepy person who won’t wake up to turn off his own alarm. 

Groaning, you sat up slightly, reaching over him to grab his phone and turned off the god awful sound. You fell back in bed, Harry not waking up or moving in the slightest as you shook his shoulder gently. And he felt it. He heard his alarm as well when it first started ringing, but as he opened his eyes, he felt your body on top of him, turning off the alarm. Harry was going to say something, but he was admiring your side profile in the morning as he looked at you with squinted eyes while your hair was a mess. It was something he wanted to wake up to every morning. And if it was you, he had no reason to complain. 

“Wake up,” you groaned. Not budging, you shook harder, thinking how in the world can this man not feel the shaking. “Wake the fuck up, Harry.” Now you were slightly more awake, you sat up, hovering over him a bit. You tapped his face lightly, squishing his cheeks, and grabbing his wrist to wave his hand. “Don’t know why you set an alarm if you’re not going to wake up.” 

After a little more shaking, you sighed, laying back down on his back as you looked up at the ceiling. Harry finally groaned and turned on his other side, facing you before cuddling up to you, laying his head on your chest. His arm wraps around your torso pulling you closer, and you chuckled as you put your hands in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly while enjoying the peace and quiet. 

A few minutes went by, and you felt a smile against your chest. 

“Are you awake?” You tried looking down, but he only snuggled closer. 

“Maybe,” he mumbled against your skin. “Don’t stop.” He placed your hands back into his hair and you rolled your eyes.

“How long have you been awake?” You asked, continuing to scratch. 

“A while.” 

“You’re lucky I always give you a few minutes to spare, but we gotta get ready. C’mon,” you unwrapped his arm from around you and shifted out from your previous position, getting off the bed. Harry groaned from the missing feeling that is your body against his, and it was nice pretending to still sleep and just enjoyed cuddling together. 

“Don’t wanna. It’s too early.” His face was smashed into the pillow, and his words came out muffled. 

“You were the one who put an alarm at 9. Besides we have to help Anne get everything set up like we promised,” you said, looking through your bag for some clean panties and deciding on what you wanted to wear. 

“You’re just a kiss ass to mum,” he teased, and you dramatically gasped. 

“I am not! I can’t help but be naturally lovable and wanting to help my favorite member of your family,” you smirked, and Harry perked up from the bed at that. 

“Take that back,” he sat up, and you shook your head as you proceeded to look in your bag. “You don’t mean that,” he ripped the blanket off of himself, revealing him in shorts and a bare torso. You tried your very best not to ogle him, but it was harder than expected, so you just took a peek; passing it as a teasing look. 

Even though you’ve seen him countless times shirtless, the sight of his body felt different every time. You wanted nothing more than to trace the black ink of his tattoos with your fingertips and run your hands across his body. The thought made the rush of adrenaline running through your veins that made your heart beat ten times faster, and that certainly did not help your feelings for him. 

Harry was now standing from the bed, slightly pushing you onto your back on the floor. Your eyes widened at his actions, not knowing what he was planning to do, but you got your answer when he grabbed both of your wrists in one hand to raise them and used his other to tickle your sides. 

“Harry!” You screamed along with laughing. 

“Take it back!” He continued tickling you. 

“Can’t…take it back…when it’s true!” You said between laughs, trying to roll around to get out of his grasp. 

“Tell me I’m your favorite!” He smiled. 

“Okay, you’re my favorite!” You gave in, and he immediately stopped, letting your arms go. You caught your breath, giggling at how childish he is sometimes, and he had the same smile as you. 

Suddenly, a soft knock on the door was brought to yours and Harry’s attention. 

“Are you two okay in there? Heard screaming and movement,” Anne said through the door, and you immediately face palmed yourself. 

“Yeah, we’re okay, mum. We’ll get ready now,” Harry said back. Once he doesn’t hear a reply back, assuming she left his door, he turns back to you. 

“Great, now she probably thinks we were having sex,” you told him, covering your face. 

“It’s okay. Nothing wrong with that,” he said softly that you barely heard him, and he quickly changed the subject. You looked at him to see his eyes already gazing back to yours, and as you were going to ask him to repeat himself, he beat you to it. “Anyways, you wanna shower first?” You nodded your head, collecting your stuff and heading over to the bathroom, thinking about the long day ahead of you. 

・・・・

It didn’t take long for you and Harry to get ready. The only thing you couldn’t decide on was what to wear. You were standing in front of Harry in a robe and your hair wrapped up in a towel with two options in both your hands. 

“I’m sure both will look nice on you,” he gave you a small smile as he was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You rolled your eyes for what seemed like the millionth because he's not giving you a straight answer. 

“Alright, I’m going with this one,” you put the other dress on the bed and took the one you were going to wear with you to the bathroom. Harry waited on you, tapping his hand on his leg before you walked out of the other room. His head immediately lifted up, seeing you in a pretty white floral dress that stopped above your ankles. He noticed you clipped the front pieces of your hair back, and you slipped on some sandals. 

“Wow…” 

“Do I look okay?” You asked. Although, you didn’t really care about other people’s opinions, you deeply cared about Harry’s; always wanting his side of the story and his thoughts. And you wanted to look nice for him because he is introducing you as his girlfriend, so you didn’t want people talking badly about either of you. 

“You look incredible,” he stood up, walking towards you. You blushed, looking at his outfit. He was wearing a pastel yellow button down, a bandana hanging loosely off his neck, and some black skinny jeans along with his Chelsea boots. 

“Thank you. You look nice too,” you flashed him his favorite smile that’s delightful to his eye, and his heart swooned. The sweet look in your eyes was enough to tell him that he was falling for you…hard. He had already fallen, but this time, it’s extreme. 

“Shall we get going?” You asked. He nodded and followed you downstairs. 

・・・・

The walk to the park was just down the street and took about 10 minutes—15, maybe because each of you, Harry, and Anne were lugging around baskets that were filled with food, blankets, and board games. 

Throughout the whole walk, you talked to Harry about how you should act. You didn’t want to overdo or underdo it. 

“Just act like you’re in love,” he stated simply. And you thought about how easy that would be since you are in love with him. You wouldn’t be acting whatsoever, but you needed the reassurance for the physical limit. 

“Okay, easy-” you blurt out, and Harry caught it. He turned to look at you, but you had already changed the subject. “What about physical stuff? Like I need to know the limits,” you said quickly. 

“Uh, no limit. Feel free to do whatever. Everyone knows I’m pretty affectionate, so maybe just always…touch me?” 

“Noted. I’m excited,” you smiled at him, and he smiled back. 

When you got to the park, you were the first ones to arrive. The space being available, you three set up the blankets and towels under the tree on the grass and the food on the picnic table. And within seven minutes, everyone started to arrive. 

Many hugs and smiles were present all around as Harry introduced you to everyone. You made sure to latch onto Harry’s arm every time, and gave his childhood neighbors big hugs. 

“So lovely to see you! Who’s this one right next to you?” Cathy from across the street asked as she hugged Harry. 

“Cathy, this is my beautiful girlfriend.” You and Cathy hug as she gives you a tight squeeze, making you feel welcomed. 

“Oh, Harry. I’m so glad you’ve found someone. A gorgeous one too,” she nudged him and winked at you causing you to chuckle.  

“Yeah, I’m a lucky one,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled down at you, dimples poking out. Inside, Harry felt anxious introducing you to everyone, and you sensed that. Knowing Harry so well, you knew the exact moments when he was feeling nervous, and that’s this moment; and his fingers were picking at the hem of your sleeve, trying to keep himself calm.

A few minutes later, Harry heard a voice he could recognize anywhere. It was loud along with her laugh. And Harry knew it was showtime. 

“She’s here,” Harry whispered into your ear. You turned your head and saw the new face that you knew was his ex girlfriend. She had a big smile on her face, dragging her fiancé with her as she met everyone, showing them her new and fancy ring. 

“Has she seen you yet?” 

“Don’t think so.” Your backs were facing her as you were grabbing some food, plates in hand. And she was about any minute to walk up to Harry and greet him. 

“Should—Should we kiss?” 

Harry looked at you, taking in the question you had just asked before nodding his head. 

It was the very first kiss you were going to share with him, and you two wished it were under different circumstances, but a kiss was a kiss, and you were going to make it special either way. 

Harry leaned in as you met him halfway, slightly standing on your toes to reach him. And as your lips touched his, everything else melted. When you wrapped your arm around his neck as he did around your waist, everything vanished. It was like there were no secrets between you two anymore, and you were kissing because you loved each other. There were no fake relationships or fake kisses, just the presence of each other as you two molding your lips together.

It was a sweet kiss. No rush detected and no tongue action either. Just the feeling of each other’s lips pressed together was enough for the two of you to go wild. 

It was then when you two realized that you were still around people when you heard a voice call out for Harry’s name. You didn’t let go at first until they called out a second time, and you hesitantly pulled back, seeing Harry’s lips pinker than before and his face flustered. You two looked at each other for a bit, a blush creeping on your face realizing you had just kissed your best friend. 

“Harry?” He turned his head to see his ex girlfriend smiling at him. 

“Oh, hi.” She reached to hug him, holding on a little longer than you wanted, but you kept your cool. “How are you?” 

“I’m good, I’m good. How are you?” 

“Good. By the way, this is my girlfriend. Baby, this is Ash. Known her since college,” he introduced you to her. A fake smile was plastered on her face, hugging you as well, and you cringed, wrapping an arm around her. But your heart immediately fluttered when you remembered Harry calling you baby, like it was so natural for him to do so. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said politely. 

“You too. Heard so much about you,” she replied, not looking at you at all, rather than looking at Harry. You chuckled and looked at him, finding it rather humorous that she said that when the ‘relationship’ isn’t even real. Harry’s eyes were on you the whole time, matching your smirk as you two tried to hold your laughs in. 

“Anyways, I gotta say hi to everyone else. It was nice meeting you again,” she turned to you, and you smiled. She turned back to Harry, “we should catch up?” Harry only nodded as she walked away. You two watched her walk away, and until she was far enough, you both bursted out in laughter. 

“Oh gosh, that was weird,” he said. 

“Yeah, a little. Did you see her big fake smile towards me?” 

“It’s very obvious, isn’t it?” You nodded your head, catching your breath. Harry puts an arm around your shoulder, and kisses the top of your head. “Don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here,” he smiled down at you, making you look up. 

His eyes were bright; sparkling from the sunlight but also gleaming because of his sight on you. You boldly decided to kiss him on the cheek, and his face was warm from his blush. 

“I’m always going to be here for you.” 

・・・・

The gathering went on smoothly. Although the weather started to get a bit chilly as the day went by; no one minded as they wrapped themselves up in their coats and blankets. 

“Harry, I’m gonna walk back to the house to get a coat,” you told him as he was in conversation with one of his old schoolmates. 

“I’ll go with ya-”

“No, no. Keep talking. Anne is coming with me to put away a few things.” He nodded and gave you a kiss on the cheek, telling you both to be careful. 

You and Anne walked back to her house, arms linked as you two chatted. 

“Darling, can I ask you something?” 

“Anything.” 

“Are you in love with my son?” Your breath hitched at that, and Anne felt you physically tense up, thinking that was a bad question to ask. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that-”

“No, it’s okay! But to answer your question: yes, I am,” you told her honestly, not daring to lie to her at all. 

“Are you going to tell him?” 

“I don’t know…I’m not sure if he feels the same, and I can’t lose him,” you said softly. The mere thought of Harry not in your life anymore broke your heart. You needed him, and even if you’d have to sacrifice your feelings for him, then you wouldn’t tell him. 

“Harry may be a lot of things, but he’s not an idiot. That being said, he’s not an idiot to not feel things for you. I know it’s scary to think about him not being in your life, but trust me on this one, yeah?” You slowly nodded, taking in her words. If Anne is telling you he has feelings for you, then she must be right. 

Besides, mother knows best. 

・・・・

Meanwhile at the park, Harry was grabbing himself a plate of crackers and cheese until someone decided to accompany him. 

“Hey,” Ash said as she stood on the opposite side of the picnic table. 

“Hi. What’s up?” He responded, continuing to get his favorite cheese. 

“Just wanted to talk to you.” Harry nodded, urging her to continue. “So, how did you meet your girlfriend?” 

“We met at a little diner. She was new to the city, and it pretty much went from there,” he smiled at the thought of you, and remembering how you two met. He’d do anything to go back and relive that time. 

“That’s nice. It’s too bad we didn’t make it, huh?” Harry was caught off guard, not sure if he heard her right. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“I mean we were together for a while--practically throughout uni and after that. I always thought we were going to get married-”

“You have a fiance…” he looks at her in disbelief, not knowing what to say other than the obvious. 

“Well, yeah. But you were my first love,” she walked over to the other side, where he was standing, and Harry slowly backed away from her while looking at her with wide eyes. “And I don’t know who else you dated after me, but I didn’t know you downgraded so much-”

“Excuse me? Don’t think you can talk to me when you’re talking shit about my girl. Can’t believe you would think you would get away with saying that right in front of my face.” Harry was angry--he had a right to be. Girlfriend or best friend, he was always going to have your back. “She’s the most kind and selfless person I’ve ever met, and she’s been nothing but nice to you ever since she met you. Go talk shit somewhere else because if you think your opinions are going to change the way I see her, then you’re absolutely wrong because I’m in love with her.” Harry storms off, his food forgotten as he doesn’t give Ash a chance to speak. 

He huffed, brows furrowed as he walked home. He walked at a fast pace, needing to be away from the scene. As he walked, he heard voices ahead of him, and found you and his mum laughing. Quickly, he met you two halfway. 

“Oh hi, Harry,” you greeted as you and Anne stopped walking. 

“Can you come with me please?” 

“Is everything alright, sweetheart?” Anne asked concerningly. 

“I just really need to talk to her,” he responded. You and Anne looked at each other, and she gave you a reassuring smile. 

“I’m gonna go back,” Anne rubbed his shoulder, knowing that something happened for him to act this way, and proceeded to walk back to the park. 

Harry grabbed your hand, and he was lucky that his home was only a few steps away, thankful that he decided to walk fast. 

“Harry, what’s wrong?” He doesn’t say anything but leads you to the front door, unlocking it. Even in his frustrated state, he’s still a gentleman as he lets you walk in first. Once inside, you asked again. “Are you okay?” 

Walking over to the couch, he grabbed one of the pillows and screamed into it. Your concern for him had raised, not knowing what happened. You sat beside him, rubbing his back as he let out his anger and frustrations into the pillow. 

After a few more seconds of screaming and a minute of silence, he finally lifted his head from the pillow, facing you. The look on your face was nothing but worry as your brows were pulled in. He took his thumb to smooth out your forehead, and your brows immediately retracted back to normal from his touch. 

“When you were with mum, she came to talk to me,” he stared. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for his words. “It was okay at first, but then…” he proceeded to tell you what Ash had said to him. How shocked he was to hear what was coming out of her mouth. He told you about how he told her off, and to not talk shit about you in front of him. 

He was proper angry, and you placed your hand on his cheek, caressing his skin with your thumb. 

“Thank you for standing up for me,” you gave him a small smile, and his face relaxed in your hand. 

“Of course. It felt so good to say out loud,” he said, and immediately closed his mouth. 

“What felt good?” 

It was now or never. Harry finally had the chance and opportunity to tell you how he really felt about you. And it may be the end of the friendship, but he’s hoping and wishing you’d reciprocate the feeling. 

“That I’m in love with you.” 

Your lips part, shocked to finally hear him say the words. The ones that you’ve been dreaming of since forever. 

“Harry…”

“I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I needed you to know,” he stood up and began pacing in front of you. 

“You love me?” Harry stopped and went back to the couch. 

“Yeah, I do. Do you love me?” He asked nervously. He wasn’t prepared for the rejection and the hurt, but when he saw you smile, his fears went away. 

You nodded enough to make you feel dizzy, and your head was spinning from happiness. “I love you, Harry. I love you.” 

“Wait, what? Really?” You nodded excitedly, smiling so big that your jaw was hurting. “Shut up!” He gasped, and you slapped his shoulder playfully. 

“I really do! Have for a while now,” you admitted. Your smile turned into a shy one as you were confessing the love you have for him for years. 

“There’s no way that you,” he points at you, “love me,” he points back at himself. You chuckled, grabbing his face in your hands and squeezing his cheeks together. 

“Well, I do. Believe it, baby.” Your thumb caressed his cheek, feeling his smooth skin under your finger. 

He quickly wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly as you felt him smile against your neck. “I can’t believe it. You love me?” 

“Yes! I have for a while now,” you kissed his neck. Slightly pulling back, your eyes met his. “Kiss me? For real this time?” 

Harry’s smile peeked out, taking your face in his hands and connecting your lips together. The kisses were heated, but they weren’t rushed. The two of you wanted to enjoy the moment alone with no interruptions—finally having one another in each other’s arms. 

“Wasn’t…faking it…earlier. The kiss—wasn’t faking it,” he said between kisses. You took the opportunity of his mouth opening to place your tongue into his mouth; tongues touching for the first time. It was like a spark shocked you once it happened, the chemistry between you was strong. 

“Take me upstairs,” you whispered. 

He slowly got up, not wanting to leave your lips, and he picked you up bridal style and took you to his room. He gently laid you on his bed and hovered over you, meeting your lips again. 

“Do you want this?” He asked, breathlessly. 

“Yeah, do you?” You looked deeply in his eyes, telling him like you really mean it. “Just want to be close to you. Don’t have to do anything else.” 

“Want this so fucking bad,” he reassured you by kissing you. 

“Want this off,” you said, lifting his shirt up. He sat on his knees and swiftly took off his shirt, and you were once again, amazed by his body. 

“A shirt for a shirt?” He teased. 

“No fair. I’m wearing a dress,” you pouted, and he kissed your bottom lip, making you smile. 

“Alright, fine.” He got off the bed and started unbuttoning his pants slowly. Your eyes raked down his tatted body, stopping at where his hands were. Harry pulled his jeans down, revealing him in his black underwear that hung low on his hips. You bit your lip in response to seeing him half naked. 

“God, you’re so hot,” your voice was low and sultry, and Harry’s dick hardened a little more. 

“Thanks, baby. Your turn?” He smirked. You nodded giving him a quick kiss as you two switched positions; you standing up and him laying on the bed. 

Back faced to him, you bent down and slowly brought the bottom of your dress up, exposing your legs—and then your panties. Suddenly, your dress wouldn’t lift up and over your waist. Harry watched you stop and try again, still not being able to get your dress off. 

You dropped your head, laughing to yourself before you turned around and you gave him a soft smile, embarrassed you stopped the show. 

“Everything okay, baby?” 

“Uh, yeah. Just a minor inconvenience. Do you mind…unzipping my dress? That was the reason why it wasn’t coming off,” you nervously chuckled. Harry smiled thinking you were the absolute cutest. 

“Of course, turn around.” You did, and unzipped your dress, pressing kisses as your skin was more exposed as he unzipped it. “Thank you. That was probably so embarrassing. Tried giving you a sexy show, but failed.” 

“Hey, it’s okay. Already love ya as it is. Don’t need to put on a show for me,” he reassures you. You walk closer to him, hugging his head to your chest. His hands raked the back of your thighs, making goosebumps appear on your skin. 

“I love you,” you said looking down at him. His smile was so big after you said those words, and you made sure to say them for the rest of time if it meant to see him smile like that. 

“I love you more.” 

You backed away from him, taking off your dress fully. The beauty of your body was indescribable. He just wanted to press kisses on every inch of your skin and appreciate how lucky he is to have you, and how happy he is that you’re able to trust him to show yourself like this. 

Kisses were being felt on your stomach, your sides, and up to your chest. You reached behind you to unhook your bra, exposing your chest to him. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” was the first words he said when he saw you fully. Without hesitation, he wrapped his mouth around your nipple as the other was being fondled by his hand, and proceeded to switch. You arched your back, silently begging for more of his tongue on your skin and he happily complied as your hands found his long hair. 

Your hands push his shoulder back on the bed, and he situated himself to sit against the headboard as you went to straddle his lap. 

“I’m too needy to stop, but can we take it slow?” You asked him as you littered kisses to his shoulder. 

“Of course. No need to rush anything.” 

After a few more kisses to his skin and his lips, you start to rock your hips. Harry’s groans softly while his hands find your ass, guiding you. 

“You’re so hard. Think—know you’re big.” You pressed your forehead against his, kissing the tip of his nose. 

Harry was already rock hard, but to hear you talk and praise him like that made him painfully harder. 

“Hard for you. ‘S all for you, baby. Been hard the moment I saw you walk out with your pretty dress on. You wet, my love?” He said back. 

“Mhm. So wet, baby—since the first time you kissed me. I wanted to ride you on the picnic table,” you moaned, hips rocking faster. 

“Fuck, who knew you had such a dirty mouth?” His hands scratched your back up and down, lightly. 

“Only you. Been waiting to use this mouth on you.” He hadn’t known if you meant vocally or physically, but he was completely okay with either one. 

You whimpered as your clothed clit moved against his cock. Both of you were on edge, waiting out the feeling because if dry humping felt this good, you wondered how it must feel when he’s inside you--just a couple of layers away from feeling his bare skin on yours.

“God, yes. C’mon, baby, know you’re close. Take what you need,” he moaned, wanting you to come before he does. You sit up, no longer pressed against his chest, and swivel your hips faster. Eyes pressed shut as your hands fly into your hair. He can see that you’re focusing on getting there as you bite your lip and tilt your head back, so he decides to help. Harry presses his thumb against your clit and circling it as you continue to move against him. 

“Fuck, Harry.” 

“Almost there?” He asked. 

“Mm, yeah. You?” Your body was shifted forward, knees on either side of him as you sat on them. Harry continued rubbing your clit, and you reached before you to stroke him through his underwear. 

Moans and praises were the only thing that was heard from the both of you as you two rubbed each other to your orgasms. Your body jolted as his hips bucked up, reaching peak. 

“Fuck, yes,” you collapsed onto his chest, catching your breath. 

“So fucking good.” His heart was pounding; raking his nails softly against your back. “Never dry fucked anyone before, and didn’t think I was gonna cum that hard,” he chuckled. You lifted your head to kiss his jaw. 

“But I’m all wet, baby,” you teased. 

“Your mouth…is fucking…filthy,” he kissed you in between his words, causing you to giggle. 

“You love it.” 

“Hell yeah I do.” 

A minute or two of silence was present between you two, embracing and cherishing one another as your bare chests were pressed against each other. You lifted your head up to meet his, smiling before pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Mmm,” he hummed into your lips, and you pulled back. 

“Maybe we should change? We’re both sticky in our pants,” you chuckled, and he nodded.

“This was all your doing--riding me like that. Wonder how you’re gonna feel when my cock is inside of you,” he smirked and your jaw dropped, but you got slightly wet again from his words, your thighs clenched together at the mere thought of it.

“And you say my mouth is fucking filthy!” 

“I learned it from the best,” he said, and you rolled your eyes. You got off of him and the bed, bending down to get a fresh new pair of panties until you heard him call out for you, “Hey.” 

You turned to look at him, a dopey smile plastered on his face as his cheeks were flushed. A sight you fell more in love with. 

“I love you, baby.” 

His words made your heart swoon, thinking you could get used to hearing that all the time now. 

“Say it again,” you said with a blushing smile. 

“I love you.” His voice was slow and raspy as he looked you in the eye, telling you he means it everytime. 

“Do you?” You asked teasingly. 

“So fuckin’ much.”

“I love you too, my love.”

feedback is appreciated here! <3

masterlist

[falsegoodnight]

these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, podfics, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with *.

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 25th and any fics read after will be included in next month’s fic rec list because otherwise this is going to be obnoxiously long. 

��

main list ~

✰ black cherries and chocolate by @harryanthus​ | NR | 666 (intense and jarring in the best way. this leaves you with that heart-racing feeling and panic crawling up your throat)

There is something or well, someone in the walls.

✰ keep secrets just to keep you by @hadestyles​ | T | 1k (loved this so much!! and need 1000000 more royalty abos from rori immediately)

“With the elements as my witness, I take you to be my husband. My heartbeat begins with you and ends with you, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sinks to his knees as well, salty tears mixing with the pure rainwater. “And I take you as mine. My heart beats for you and with you.”

✰ bitter coffee and sweet love by @dontfuckwithmyotp​ | G | 1k (so cute and sweet!! proud of you ari for getting your first fic out and excited to see what you do next!)

“Hello! Welcome to The Busy Bean! Are you new?” Louis blinked in surprise at the voice and looked around to find the source. “Behind you,” The person tapped his shoulder once and he whirled around at the unexpected touch.

“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to interrupt a person—” His rant stopped when he finally faced them. It was a guy—Harry Styles, according to his small black name tag. His eyes widened in embarrassment.

✰ turn your mic off, baby by @vogueharrystan​ | E | 2k (i love when lilli writes harry’s pov. this was so hot!)

Louis walks around the house naked all day and ignores Harry to play video games instead. Harry gets tired of it.

✰ This Could Be Love by mulletharry | G | 2k (such a cute and perfect little valentine’s day fic! put the biggest smile on my face <3)

Harry and Louis have been together for four months. They spend their first Valentine’s Day together.

✰ you appear as my soul by @hadestyles​​ | T | 2k (so gorgeous and raw)

He aches — not as much as Louis, he could never imagine all that he bears quietly — and as cruel as it sounds, it keeps reminding him of how fragile they are.

✰ the energy from your body by sweetielouis | E | 3k (hilarious, hot, and cute!)

Harry and his friends have a popular podcast, for the Valentines Day special they get a bit drunk and talk a bit too comfortably about their friends arses.

It's a good thing Louis doesn't mind it all that much. 

✰ look how i remember by @harryanthus​ | M | 4k (this left me speechless and aching)

He hates it, he wants to scream and tell Harry as much. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me as if we are in love. Kiss me like you will never do it again. Kiss me with so much hatred that it turns back to love.

✰ Things Unsaid by @londonfoginacup​ | G | 5k (so so cute and funny!!)

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

✰ reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress​ | E | 4k (adorable and funny and amazing!)

Harry's Google search history may or may not look like 'my girlfriend doesn't know we're dating.'

✰ dancing in the moonlight by @outropeace​ | E | 5k (need 100k more of this immediately, thanks. so wonderful)

Louis’ fuck buddy gets a date for Valentine’s day and he discovers that denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

✰ The truth is, the stars are falling by larrysbeanies | E | 5k (hot!!! walking-in trope that i love so much)

Harry knows Louis is gay. Hell, he came out to Harry exactly two months ago (when the dreadful dry spell started) because it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the fact that his one night stands were men. And, you know, they’re best friends so there aren’t supposed to be secrets and all that.

Thing is, Louis told Harry he’s gay ergo, Harry is aware that Louis likes men. Why the fuck did he act so normal while fingering him three days ago, then? Is this something straight guys do to their gay best friends in Harry’s world?

Louis would really like to know.

✰ to be used and to be in love by @thelesserneptune​ | E | 5k (blessed that this is a series. really hot and cute!)

Louis doesn't know why his filthy best friend turned into a vanilla boyfriend and thinks of the perfect birthday present to solve that problem.

✰ on the borderline by @princelouisau​ | E | 8k (the way danielle writes... poetry. this broke me down and then stitched me back up <3)

Louis makes his choice.

✰ One Step Closer by agrinwithouthiscat | G | 12k (reading asexual hl fics is instant comfort and this was lovely)

The one fake relationship AU where they don't end up together.

✰ i glow pink in the night by @raspberryoatss​ | E | 12k (hybrid louis perfection, beautiful writing, characters, and story as always!)

Harry reads a lot of articles about hybrids and Louis is determined to prove them wrong.

✰ The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by @speakingwithink | G | 13k (asexual hl again! this one made me cry) 

Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, ‘and I’m ace.’ If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle.

✰ Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice by @harriblou​ | M | 13k (enemies with benefits to lovers goodness! so hot and entertaining)

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”

Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.

“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.

✰ hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas | NR | 16k (this writer’s atmosphere/prose draws me in every time. such a lovely story)

Harry's in the army, Louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

✰ The Future is Now by @jacaranda-bloom​ | E | 16k (love fics in this five times format and this one was so unique and cool!! and the friends to lovers aspect = chef’s kiss)

Five times Louis follows the fortunes to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him the whole time.

✰ Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs by @theisolatedlily​ | E | 18k (the prose in this... gorgeous. so fucking good and addicting. delighted that there’s going to be a sequel and excited for whatever lily does next!)

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

✰ deFENCEless by @solvetheminourdreams​ | T | 27k (this was so cute and so funny and i had the biggest smile on my face the entire time. not surprised since stef always evokes that in me with her writing)

When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

✰ darling, you give love a bad name by snowcaplou | M | 29k (been waiting for this one since summer and i wasn’t disappointed! so wonderful and real!)

Louis’ has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he’s grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend’s brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the “right” thing. Get married before anybody finds out.

✰ The Haunting of Louis Tomlinson* by @helloamhere​ | T | 31k (will never not be an all-time favorite. louis’ character is my absolute favorite - gothic heroine indeed - and harry is the best dramatic gay ghost ever <3)

Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

✰ begged and borrowed time by @bottomlwt​ | M | 40k (this concept was so unique and so cool!! loved the medieval setting and the time travel and how everything fit together in the end!!)

“It wasn’t until 1568 that it became time for Prince Harry to find a queen and prepare to rule. However, the day he was set to choose his bride-to-be, he mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again despite the multiple search parties that went on through the years. To this day, historians still do not know what happened with the infamous Prince Styles case..."

✰ Lidocaine and Palm Trees.* by @daddyharrie​ | E | 45k (definition of ris comfort read - on nth reread and still love it wholly. makes me miss la which is an astonishing feat in itself) 

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

✰ haunted by the ghost of you* by @missandrogyny​ | E | 49k (perhaps my favorite fic of all time? the humor, the characters, the angst?!?! all the britney spears!! and pink ouija boards and wikihow!!)

He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.

Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.

“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”

At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.

Nick Grimshaw was right.

✰ like real people do by @eeveelou​ | E | 64k (this was... so amazing. the characters were so wonderfully written and so was the journey of healing and growth that louis undertakes over the story :’) loved the contrast between l and h’s lives and how they fit into each other still so perfectly)

Jessica Jones AU in which the dead stay where they belong, featuring Zayn as the high-powered lawyer with a hopeless crush on his assistant Liam, Niall as the constantly stoned but strangely insightful neighbor, Harry as Manhattan’s media darling, and Louis as the never-was hero who’s just trying to pick up the pieces.

✰ Black With Autumn Rain by whimsicule | T | 93k (i actually can’t remember if i’ve read this before??? either way - it was wonderful! loved the setting and atmosphere and the supernatural elements! i was so intrigued from the first sentence onwards)

Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren’t exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

podfics ~

✰ tall stories on the page by @soldouthaz​ & read by @softlouislove​ | T (hannah’s voice is so lovely and perfect for reading aloud - and ofc the fic itself is amazing)

Harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip. Louis is a nice change of pace. 

wips ~

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved​ | E | 60k | 6/16 (just caught up fully today but i’m really enjoying everything! this is everything i’ve ever wanted in a fantasy fic)

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies​ | E | 39k | 3/10 (having a blast reading this one!! i’ve never seen the bachelor in my life but in fic-format, it’s so fun!)

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

✰ The Night Still Whispers Sins of Old by @toomanydreamers​ | E | 6k | 2/? (loving this so much, as expected. can’t wait to see how everything unfolds)

Two and a half years have passed since the fateful day when Louis and Harry were crowned Triwizard champions. Confronted with misunderstandings, wounded pride and heartache, Louis stumbled away from the possibility of a future relationship with Harry. Instead, he buried himself into relentless work as a junior Auror and refused to let himself be vulnerable with another person. Circumstances change that force Louis to confront his feelings - and Harry. Stolen glances, picnics at sunrise, thrilling adventures, original spellwork, midnight feasts, soft lips and cautious second chances culminate in an unforgettable mission - but will it be enough to mend their relationship?

non-1d ~

✰ like a bullet needs a gun by @millsxwriting​ | T | 21k | wilds au (despite me having no context, mills still got me to fall in love with toni and shelby. this was so cute and lovely!!)

Toni doesn’t expect to fall for anyone in her senior year. Least of all for Shelby Goodkind, the new girl that arrived in town just before the end of summer. In fact, Toni can’t even look at her for longer than two seconds, or listen to more than three sentences coming out of her mouth without wanting to accidentally push her off a cliff. 

Cue a group project and endless bickering, and suddenly Toni finds herself with an unbearable crush.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[zanniscaramouche]

MAY WE LIFT EACH OTHER UP

Thank you @phd-mama for such a wonderful idea! Sadly the month got away from me so I could not spread love all month long (although I did try to power read some shorter fics and serial-comment as much as I could!) and I hope you have all enjoyed the quotes from fics @allwaswell16 is reading as much as I have! 

Inspired by that, I’m handing out flowers to every person who’s ever reblogged, liked, commented or kudos on a fic or fic post. A flower for those who leave nice things in the tags and those who interact with wip posts to encourage the process. You’re all a necessary part of this whacky fanfiction machine. Here are some people who are major factors in my productivity levels, and people who inspire me to keep creating and have fun 💕

🌻 @mercurial-madhouse  My lovely beta, supremely smart and bursting with creativity. You inspire me every day and I adore working with you. You bring so much balance and structure to my work, the fine-toothed comb that really picks things out and makes them shine. Somedays(most days) I swear you can read my mind. Thank you for every second of effort you’ve put into making my stories come to life! Your own writing inspires me to be more imaginative and unafraid to dip into the niche. 

🌸 @lululawrence Such a wonderful human! You give off such great energy, I am in awe of how passionately and avidly you commit yourself to creating fanworks for the sheer pleasure of doing so. You remind me to write fic for myself first and foremost, everything else is second. No pairing is rare enough. 

🌹 @kingsofeverything The absolute mammoth list of your discography is awe inducing. Truly I can only hope to have the pleasure of reading them all. Your variety is so inspiring to me to try new and different things. The way you portray the human condition is phenomenal. A real inspiration all around.

🌼 @haztobegood An all around beautiful person. Love sprinting with you and seeing your new works being posted, reading your fics is always a good time! The comments you leave are so kind, thank you!

🌷 @theisolatedlily LILY! A thousand flowers for you, the most supportive commenter out there! You go ABOVE & BEYOND to another galaxy level, I swear. The feedback you provide is instrumental to my continued creativity and desire to pursue writing. Thank you x300million. Your brilliant usage of a large vocabulary and your love of grotesque detail truly inspires me to dig deeper while writing.

🌺 @soldouthaz A literal angel! Continuously taking the initiative to help others in the fandom (betabase was such a good idea!) and so kind to everyone. One of the first writers I read when I started in the fandom and I am so glad because you hooked me in to stay! 

🌻 @falsegoodnight Another of the first authors I first started reading in this fandom. Your hard work and dedication is so inspiring to me, and reading your fics is always a lovely experience that lets me truly escape. Thank you for being so wonderful! 

🌸 @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed WOW! You are continuously encouraging me to work on my wips via tag challenges. I havent responded to them in awhile(life has me by the throat) but know that those tags are VITAL to my sustained writing effort, and I eagerly await tagging you multiple times a week once more. Thank you for always thinking of me to tag! 

🌹 @fallinglikethis A heart of gold! A true darling, thank you for your recording of my work, it was a true experience to hear. I cherish every comment and interaction between us! 

🌼 @nevergooutofstiles Seriously where do I start! You are a serial commenter and it’s fabulous. I don’t think you can truly grasp how much each word in every comment you leave means to me, both those on the fic itself and the tags left in the fic posts. Thank you for your continued support! 

🌷 @londonfoginacup Such a sweetie! I am so humbled by your lovely words and I am so pleased to know you enjoyed some of my work. Thank you for all that you’ve done for the fandom, as well as the support you’ve personally shown me in tags and comments. 

🌺 @louandhazaf Lovely! Through your own work you inspire me to keep writing rarepairs, and I can’t wait to read more of your stories to give back on all the comments you’ve left on my stories. Thank you for being wonderful! 

🌻 @disgruntledkittenface Astonishing! Tagging you back and forth keeps me going, I can’t get enough of seeing your upcoming works and the motivation to create new ‘last lines’ and ‘sunday snippets’ is a much needed boost. Thank you for thinking of me when tagging!  

🌸 @brightgolden  My very first beta! You helped me so much on my first few beta experiences and are such a treat to work with. Thank you for your continued support, I am so proud to see you writing now and can NOT wait to read your new fics! 

🌹 @homosociallyyours Always so kind in the tags! Thank you for reading and commenting and boosting my works. You’re such a wonderful person to follow too!

🌼 @larryyouknow Sincerely wonderful! Always checking in and sharing your enthusiasm for my work. Thank you so much for getting in touch, I adore talking with you! 

🌷 @oldbay-on-apples Sincere and sweet, thank you so much for you feedback and support! 

🌺 @runaway-train-works Thank you for the love of rarepairs! It keeps me going on works that are truly passion projects. Your comments are so thoughtful and intelligent! 

🌻 @bluecolouredlou So lovely to hear from you and to see your interest in my works! Thank you for being so kind and encouraging.

🌸 @allwaswell16 A goddess! Wow there are few words I haven’t used yet, but you are all of them: lovely, sweet, kind, sincere, beautiful! You are constantly creating, be it fic, rec lists, or monthly round ups. A true legend. Thank you for all that you do, and thanks for your support! 

🌹 @solvetheminourdreams Cutie! I love seeing your works pop up, and I am so eager to devour them soon. Thankful for the encouragement and tags in fun little challenges. 

🌼 @harrystinyshorts So much fun tagging you back and forth and reading what you’re working on. Thank you for thinking of me! 

🌷 @makethebestofwhatyouget​ Hello darling! You are a ball of energy and passion, a real shining light! The excitement you exude is addicting. Thank you for sharing it with me and always pushing me to keep going! 

xx 🌺+ SOOOO many more that I couldn’t find the tumblr accounts for or sincerely forgot in my overtired daze. This month has kicked my butt, as my vague absence may have implied, and I miss interacting with everyone. With another season of work coming to an end, I can finally settle down and commit myself to what truly brings me joy: fanfic! In the next month I hope to read all of the beautiful fics that have come out recently (read: the past 7 months) while also fulfilling all of the fic festivals I seem to have signed up for 😅

Here’s to a wonderful summer & beyond for all of us! 

[jbbarnesnnoble]

JBBarnesNNoble's 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Challenge 2021

Hello lovely people! And welcome to the 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge. The aim of this challenge is to shine a light on mental health, medical conditions, and the things that can have impacts on us. This started out initially being a PCOS Awareness challenge last year but through conversations with other writers over Discord, it evolved into a Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge last year. I’m reusing some of the unused prompts from last year’s challenge and adding in some new ones!

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The goal of this challenge is to lift each other up, and show that it’s okay not to be okay. Spread some love and light during a challenging time in the world to those who struggle with chronic illness, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, grief, PCOS, acceptance from their families and communities for being LGBT+, and anyone struggling with insecurity.

This challenge will run through July 31st, 2021. It will run through Mental Health Awareness Month, Pride Month, and the month of July to give people time to write. You can submit it at any time. I probably have too many prompts, but I wanted to ensure that there was a wide array to choose from. Please don’t hesitate to message me if I haven’t interacted with your fic after a few days! Sometimes the tag system doesn’t work and I miss things!

The Rules:

1. Utilize resources available online if you’re dealing with subject matter you’re not that familiar with. I’m not going to go all “cite sources” on y’all, but please do make sure to do your research. Writing about some of these issues can be hard if you don’t have first hand knowledge of how it can affect you. The goal of this challenge is to write about topics that we tend to shy away from, that many of us struggle with, from mental health struggles to chronic illnesses to low-self esteem. A gentle reminder that if you think writing about a subject will be triggering for you, please look after yourself first.

2. Use #JBBNNMHAM21 to tag your fic

3. Dark!Fic- Due to the subject matter involved in this challenge, please don’t submit dark!fic. I enjoy dark fics, but this challenge isn’t the place for them.

4. Smut- Smut is welcome! Make sure you tag it appropriately.

5. No inc*st, dubcon/noncon, underage, etc

6. Ships- I prefer reader inserts, but show me what ya got.

7. NO JOHN WALKER FICS. Please. Please no. I beg of you.

8. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! The song prompts have a line from them under it. You DO NOT need to use the line in your submission! It’s mostly to help you decide if you’re interested in a song before you take a listen to it.

You also can alter the sentence and dialogue prompts as needed for grammar, be it altering the pronouns used or changing the pluralization of a word.

9. Trigger Warnings: Use warnings as needed. Fics dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or other mental health issues should be tagged appropriately to ensure that readers that may be triggered by the subject matter can avoid the fic. Trigger warnings are non-negotiable

The prompts are under the cut!

Prompts:

Dialogue Prompts:

“I feel like if I let go, if I move on, I’ll only be proving them right.”

“I don’t know. Am I? Because from where I’m standing it’s pretty damn clear that’s how you see me.”

“You don’t believe that do you? Tell me you don’t. Please.”

“It’d probably be easier if you left”

“Please leave me alone”

“Everyone’s got broken pieces. Some have more, some have less. It doesn’t make you less of a person to have those broken pieces.” @nekoannie-chan

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll take that shake now.”

“What’s the point if I’m going to end up breaking that promise too?”

“You sure about that, moonman?”

“It made you smile though. And that will always be a win in my book.”

“That’s not true. And I will tell you that every day of your life until you believe me.”

Sentence Prompts:

Feel free to adjust the pronouns as needed

It was a day. It was the only way it could be described.

Summer had a smell that reminded her of innocence and a time long since past.

In that moment, the world stopped spinning on its axis as it all shattered down around her.

Some things, there would never be a way to understand. @justrunamok

Like shattered glass, in that moment the illusion was broken.

Forever was a lie, just like everything else.

If you had another condescending doctor tell you your problem wasn’t a problem you were going to scream.

They’d say it was easy, like riding a bike. Except, you never learned how to ride a bike in the first place.

Today was going to be good. It had to be.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was going south.

AU and Trope Prompts:

Soulmate @samsgoddess

College

Childhood Friends @tellmealovestory

Friends to Lovers

Enemies to Lovers

Musicians

Writer

Professional Athlete

Teacher

Coffee Shop

Fake Dating

Accidental Marriage

Royal

Librarian

Doctor

Song Prompts:

1. Nobody Ever Told You - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “Wish you could see yourself the way I do. Nobody ever told you, nobody ever told you. Shine like a diamond, glitter like gold, and you need to know what nobody ever told you”

2. Missing You - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “And if you need a friend, I’ll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you’ve been, having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts. But if you need a friend, then please just say the word.”

3. Barefoot and Bruised - Jamestown Story

Lyric Snippet: “Maybe when your sky comes crashing down, I can be your angel on the ground. If you get tired and can’t go on, I will carry you along, when the rocks below your feet wear out your shoes, when you’re barefoot and bruised”

4. Hold On Till May- Pierce the Veil

Lyric Snippet: “If were you, I’d put that away. See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay.”

5. If I Surrender - Citizen Soldier

Lyric Snippet: “If I surrender, surrender, to the monsters in me, will it set me free?”

6. Home - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Beba Rexha

Lyric Snippet: “All these miles, feet, inches, they can’t add up to the distance that I have been through just to get to a place where even if there’s no closure I’m still safe. I still ache from trying to keep pace. Somebody give me a sign, I’m starting to lose faith”

7. Broken Arrows - Daughtry

Lyric Snippet: “The best of intentions I lay at your feet. And I need you to see past the worst part of me.”

8. Used - Serious Matters

Lyric Snippet: “The wounds are gone and the pain still lingers. But this time I won’t stand by, I don’t need you in my life”

9. According to You - Orianthi

Lyric Snippet: “According to you, I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right”

10. Let It Land - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And everything we hate is something we just bought along the line”

11. Cold As You - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story, of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you”

12. Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “Hold on, baby you’re losing it. The water’s high, you’re jumping into it, and letting go, and no one knows. That you cry but you don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one. And you’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.”

13. Human Interaction - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “I don’t know love. I don’t know hate. I am numb. Wish I could find the words to say. Asking please, as colors fade. I need to breathe. Before I turn the world to grey.”

14. Therapy - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything. Therapy you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery”

15. Scars - Alison Iraheta

Lyric Snippet: “Do you know how hard I’ve tried to become what you want me to be. Take me, this is all that I’ve got, this is all that I’m not, all that I’ll ever be. I got flaws, I got faults, keep searching for your perfect heart. It doesn’t matter who you are, we’ve all got our scars”

16. Hurts to Know - 1551

Lyric Snippet: “I can’t remember what I did to earn you by my side. I can’t surrender. I’ll fight as long as you’re in my life”

17. Spinning Bottles - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “He’s in a hotel room, with the tv on. Getting lost in the static with the curtains drawn, knowing this could be the time that gets her gone for good, he’d quit if he could. But one down, two down, three down, four, can’t even recognize the man in the mirror anymore”

18. Praying - Kesha

Lyric Snippet: “Well you were wrong and now the best is yet to come. ‘Cause I can make it on my own. And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known.”

19. Jersey On the Wall (I’m Just Asking) - Tenille Townes

Lyric Snippet: “If I ever get to heaven, you know I got a long list of questions. Like how do you make a snowflake, are you angry when the earth quakes? How does the sky change in a minutes, how do you keep this big rock spinning? Why can’t you stop a car from crashing? Forgive me, I’m just asking”

20. Five More Minutes - Scotty McCreery

Lyric Snippet: “Time rolls by, the clock don’t stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times. Oh, but they just keep on flying right on by like it ain’t nothing, wish I had me a, a pause button. Moments like those, Lord knows I’d hit it. Give myself five more minutes”

21. Dad’s Old Number - Cole Swindell

Lyric Snippet: “Sometimes I forget, these ten digits ain’t my lifeline anymore. Every now and then I dial them up when life gets tough or when the Braves score. Sorry about the one ring hang ups, early morning and late night wake ups. It was just me. In case you wondered, you’ve got dad’s old number.”

22. The Other Side - Lauren Alaina

Lyric Snippet: “There’s gonna be a lot of sadness on a lot of happy days, I’ll try to think of this moment, this place”

23. I Was Here - Beyonce

Lyric Snippet: “So they won’t forget I was here. I lived. I loved. I was here. I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.”

24. Gone Too Soon - Simple Plan

Lyric Snippet: “Like a shooting star, flying across the room. So fast, so far, you were gone too soon. You’re a part of me. And I’ll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon.”

25. Amelia - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And you will always be perfect, you’ll always be beautiful, our hearts, will never forget you. You didn’t belong here, and it’s become so clear why heaven called your name.”

26. Heaven Right Now - Thomas Rhett

Lyric Snippet: “When the whole crew gets together, memory lane goes on forever. We twist a top and pour a little Jack D out.”

[zaffrenotes]

[TRR x ES] Viewing Party

Book: The Royal Romance & Endless Summer Pairings: Liam x MC (Katrina Bailey), Drake x OC (Alyssa Devereaux), Jake x MC (Laurel) Rating/Warnings: G; mild innuendo Author’s Note: * All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them * Katrina Bailey & Laurel are the MCs I use when writing fanfic for TRR and ES, respectively; Alyssa Devereaux belongs to birthday girl @burnsoslow​ * This is my submission for @wackydrabbles​​ Prompt 80: Stop looking at me like that. * Author’s Note 2: * This is a birthday gift for my cheesy, potato loving homegirl Burnsie, who requested her very first Endless Summer/Jake fic, despite having never read any ES fic until now 🙈 for the sole reason being that she and Jake McKenzie are almost birthday twins, and my favorite pilot turns 30 this year. If you’re unfamiliar with canon ES trivia, Jake can hold his breath for 9 minutes, and Estela can hold her breath for an astonishing 14. This isn’t entirely what I had in mind when I set out to write an ES/Jake birthday fic, but I wasn’t about to miss your day because I’ve hit a whole ass writer’s wall, Burnsie! I hope you have an AMAZING day and I’m sending you so many hugs! You’re one of the sweetest ladies here, and I am so very thankful that I can call you a friend 🥰 also my real, real gift to you is coming at a later date, as I still have to work on it 😬 * and yes, that’s DDT in the moodboard - just for Burnsie, again - since I use Barnes as Drake’s FC in my TRR fics, lol * Word Count: 2000 on the dot!

It was nearly 10:00 PM on Friday evening, when Burns arranged things around the comfiest chair in her living room. The rest of her family already retired for the evening, after a small but wonderful birthday celebration in her honor at home. Within easy reach, she’d arranged drinks and snacks next to her laptop - a glass of water, a hot mug of tea, a slice of homemade birthday cake to take care of any sugar cravings, and a small platter of cheese and crackers for something more savory. She grinned softly at the newest addition to her mug collection, watching the steam rise from the contents within. 

The lavender mug arrived in the mail earlier that day from one of her friends, emblazoned with a quote from David Rose. Burns took a sip of the warm beverage before setting it down on the small side table and situated herself in the chair. She flipped open the laptop and pulled up a browser window, smiling at a gift from another friend - there was a sticker next to the trackpad with a drawing of a wedge of Swiss, quoting another memorable line from Schitt’s Creek, reminding her to “fold in the cheese.” Burns glanced to the time on the screen and logged in to her Netflix account, clicking until she arrived at the viewing party, and began typing to join the group chat. 

She was greeted with jubilant messages from Donna, Ella, Brandy, Anitah, and half a dozen other friends, wishing her a happy birthday before the show started. They’d formed an ever-growing viewing party for a new series titled Stranded in the Orchard, which was an odd amalgamation of Survivor and Gilligan’s Island. Taking a cue from reality tv competitions, there were hidden cameras all over the island to monitor everyone and reduce production crew intervention, and in a nod to Hunger Games, there was an omnipresent host that would drop messages to signal when challenges were about to take place. After four episodes, the ladies in the watching party started picking their favorites from the two teams. 

Team Ruby consisted of a group that appeared to have been shipwrecked onto the island. Leo was dubbed The Rogue; his brother Liam was The CEO; Katrina was The Attorney; Alyssa was The Teacher; Drake was The Cowboy; Olivia was The Weapons Expert; Bertrand was The Grump; Madeleine was The Whiner; Maxwell was Bertrand’s brother and The Jester; Hana was The Jill of All Trades. Bertrand and Madeleine had already been voted off when Ruby lost two events. 

Team Catalyst consisted of a group of mostly college students. Jake was The Pilot; Laurel was The Mystery Girl; Sean was The Coach; Michelle was The Doctor, even though she was only pre-med; Craig was The Muscle; Zahra was The Engineer; Aleister was The Slick One; Grace was The Brain; Diego was The Entertainer; Estela was The Huntress. Catalyst lost the last two events, which sent Aleister and Grace packing. 

Everyone settled in to watch the opening credits as they recapped last week’s episode, where Ruby won the immunity challenge and fishing gear by building a makeshift stretcher to rescue and carry Katrina from a jungle crash site to a first aid station on the beach; Catalyst voted Grace out. Burns popped a cheese cube into her mouth as she and her friends watched the two groups deal with day-to-day chores in their respective camps on Day 14 of the show. They chatted about the team members and how much Burns wanted to see Drake take off his shirt to go in the water, despite the knowledge that there were clips of him cuddling with Alyssa; Donna, Ella, and Anitah would keysmash in the group chat any time Liam appeared on the screen, even though he and Katrina were clearly sweet on each other, while Brandy and Alyssa Lauren would ask what was happening or who someone was from the Catalyst team.

—

“Pillows and blankets are nice, but what we could really use is food,” Maxwell said, drawing an octopus in the sand with a piece of driftwood. “I don’t know how much longer I can last on coconuts and rice.” 

“Liam and Drake took the raft out this morning to try fishing with the gear, maybe they’ll get lucky,” Katrina suggested, stirring the pot of rice in the fire. She set the lid on top and stood up from her kimchi squat position, dusting some errant sand off her leg. They both looked out towards the water, as dawn stretched out across the ocean, making out shadowy forms of their friends as they bobbed in the water, just before one of them went under the surface. Behind them, the rest of their friends began to stir awake from the scent of rice cooking. 

Back at the Catalyst camp, Jake sat by the campfire with Estela; they were working on making their own fishing gear from bamboo and camp supplies after losing the previous challenge. Jake fed a length of twine through a handmade fishing pole while Estela sharpened tips on one end of a pile of branches she’d gathered. “Whatcha whittlin’, Katniss?” 

Estela glanced at Jake sideways. “Stakes. Hand over some of that twine, I need it to bind these to make spears.” With a begrudging huff, Jake unfurled the twine and ran it against the edge of the makeshift bench he was sitting on to cut it, before tossing the rest at Estela. 

“How fast can you tie those off? We’re losin’ daylight for a morning catch, if you wanna ride on the raft with me.” 

“Five minutes,” she answered, already working nimbly around a branch to secure the whittled spikes. 

The screen cut back to Ruby’s camp, where Liam and Drake stepped ashore, smiles brighter than the sunrise as Drake held up a fish trap with small rays flapping against one another. 

—

“kjsdhfksjhfksjhfks,” Burns smashed into her keyboard. “Look at my man! With the sea bounty!” 

“mevmnbvmnxb,” Ella smashed back.

“How do you know Drake did all the work? Liam’s just as wet, hahaha,” Donna chortled in response.

—

After killing their catch as humanely as possible - with Alyssa turning her face to Drake’s chest to avoid witnessing it - Leo and Olivia gutted and cleaned the rays before setting them on top of their makeshift grill to cook. Liam and Drake regaled the group with their morning under the water, as they took turns fishing. 

While Team Ruby enjoyed some protein with their rice that morning, members of the Catalyst team glumly spooned rice into their mouths as they sat around the campfire while Jake and Estela dried off; their morning fishing trip had been unsuccessful. 

Later that day, both teams received messages from the host to gather for a reward challenge. Each team made their way to a small lagoon, where they saw a structure floating in the water. A booming voice overhead instructed them to swim out to the structure and await further instructions. Once everyone from both teams had done so, a blue holographic image of the host appeared in the center to explain the rules. “The challenge is simple,” she narrated. “We want to see who can hold their breath the longest. There’s a bar you can use to keep yourself from floating up if you need it. Last one standing earns the prize for the whole team — an overnight trip at the Celestial Hotel, where our rotating film crew goes to rest. You’ll be treated to clean sheets and towels, hot showers, along with a decadent dinner and breakfast menu the next morning, before having to return to your camp.” 

Everyone’s eyes lit up at the incentive of a night away from sleeping on the beach, away from mosquitos, rodents, and the threat of being waterlogged by passing storms. Stomachs gurgled at the thought of hot meals that didn’t consist of rice, and the possibility of cocktails or wine. “Oh, we got this,” Jake murmured quietly to Laurel. “Bet I can hold my breath longer’n any of those Ruby kids.” 

“Is that so?” Leo taunted, overhearing Jake’s comment.

“Just call me Poseidon,” Jake smirked. 

“We’ll see about that,” Leo replied. “You know most of us are from an island, right? We’re basically merpeople.” 

—

“Bets! Bets on who wins this!” Brandy typed into the chat window.

“Sticking with Drake,” Burns typed. “Maybe Hana. She could have another random talent up her sleeve.” 

“My money’s on Liam. Look how broad his chest is,” Anya replied. “He’s got to have massive lungs to match.”

“That makes no sense,” Ella typed, adding a laughing emoji. “But I’m Team Liam anyway.”

“Don’t hate me,” Donna began. “Something tells me Jake isn’t boasting right now.” 

From her screen at home, Alyssa Lauren used Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe to choose Zahra. The rest of the group picked their favorites as the castaways donned goggles and got into the water. 

—

“Ready? Set! Go!” 

Sixteen heads dipped under the water’s surface, with contestants pinching their noses and puffing out their cheeks as an underwater camera filmed them. A handful of them - Olivia, Alyssa, Maxwell, Diego, and Michelle - tapped out under a minute. As the sand settled, thirty seconds passed before Katrina, Laurel, Sean, and Drake headed to the surface. Just after the two minute mark, Hana, Craig, and Zahra gave up, leaving Jake, Liam, Estela, and Leo under the water. 

Jake looked positively peaceful, sandy brown hair swaying with ease in the water. Estela tapped her fingers lightly across the bamboo rod, counting each second as it passed. Liam glanced over to his brother, who’d begun to turn pink. Half a minute later, Leo popped up to the surface, muttering to himself out of frustration. 

Three minutes in, Liam surfaced, gasping for air, leaving Jake and Estela to battle it out between themselves. Even though the hologram host blasted a horn to signal the end of the challenge, neither Catalyst member surfaced. Liam ducked down to check on them, and Jake and Estela both signaled that they were fine. Everyone continued to wait as the pair spent minute after minute under the water.

—

“Seriously? They’re on the same team!” Anitah typed. “They won already!” 

“They’ve been underwater for a scary length of time,” Brandy added. “What are they, Navy SEALs or something?” 

“I think Jake mentioned he was actually in the Navy before,” Alyssa Lauren replied. 

—

A digital clock appeared in the corner of the screen as the two Catalyst members continued to hold their breath underwater. With each passing minute, members from both groups began to worry. After eight minutes passed, the host’s voice rang out, advising them to pull Jake and Estela up from the water to end the challenge. Laurel and Craig ducked down, eventually pulling their teammates up. “Congratulations to The Catalysts!” the host exclaimed. “A boat will be waiting at your camp to take you to the hotel.” 

Laurel swatted Jake’s arm as they made their way to the shore. “What’s wrong with you!? You were underwater for nearly ten minutes! Who does that!?” 

Jake looked over his shoulder to her with a grin, mischievous sparkle in his bright blue eyes. “Ten would be a new record, my best is nine.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Imagine nine uninterrupted minutes of me holding my breath, Princess. My birthday is tomorrow, and I know exactly how I wanna celebrate,” he winked.  

Laurel’s cheeks flushed at the suggestion. “Stop looking at me like that, Top Gun.”

—

That evening at the hotel, after a sumptuous feast of lobster, crab, and an endless supply of beer and wine, the Catalyst members eventually went to bed. Much later into the night, Jake was seen sneaking into Laurel’s room. 

—

“I KNEW IT!” Burns typed. She laughed as her friends typed in responses full of lemon, fire, pepper, and eggplant emojis. She popped another cheese cube into her mouth and smiled, watching the rest of the episode play out.

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Supernatural-Jackles

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Jen

Age: 24

Location: Ontario, Canada

URL: @supernatural-jackles​ 

Why did you choose your URL:  I wanted a Supernatural theme for my blog when I started watching it and Jensen Ackles just happens to be my favourite on there so it became that.

What inspired you to become a writer: I’ve always enjoyed stories. I’ve loved the aspect of taking your mind to a whole other world and living in it. As I grew up and continued reading, my love for stories became stronger and stronger. I fell in love with characters and places. I wanted to always have a way to go back to those places and take other people to those places. I wanted to create stories for others to fall in love with the way I fell in love with them.

How long have you been writing:  I have been writing since I was 8 or 9.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc?  Right now, my Nintendo switch is a good friend of mine. Due to the virus, I spend a lot of my time inside when I’m not at work. I’m either writing, working, sleeping or playing switch.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom?  Since 2012

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I am in the Harry Potter fandom, and Marvel. I don’t write for them though. I don’t feel the same way about the characters as I do with the SPN Fandom. 

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I have been working on my novel for the last two years on and off. I just find a lot more joy in writing Supernatural fanfiction at the moment, so my soul focus has stayed on that. 

Favorite published author:  Margaret Atwood or John Green

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?:  There was this one book I read. I was about 18 at the time I believe. All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. A very triggering book, just so you know. I remember sitting there reading it and wondering why I’m putting myself through something so draining and daunting. The book was very upsetting and I found it didn’t tackle the issues at hand in a very tasteful and realistic way. As someone who writes fanfiction about mental health, it influenced me to be open and honest about the way reality is, but in a way that would shine more positively towards mental health struggles. I never wanted to be that person who ruined every mental health book for someone else like that author did for me. It was a negative impact, but I think it had some positive results.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc):  I enjoy all genres to be honest. It really all depends on the mood I’m in that day. It’s fun to switch it up every once in a while and enjoy the mixed emotions you get when you read or write said genre.

Favorite piece of your own writing: One and One Make Three or Just Want to Be Loved.

Most underrated fic you have written:  I might have to say More Than a Fling. It was the sequel to Summer Fling and everyone was interested in a second series. It soon went on permanent hiatus due to lack of interest.

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show:  Owe You One

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s):   @luci-in-trenchcoats​, @kaz-2y5imagines​,  @jawritter​ @mariekoukie6661​, @torn-and-frayed​

Favorite fic from another writer:  Breathe by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

Favorite character to write: Dean/Jensen

Favorite Pairing to write:  Undecided. I love reader inserts and I haven’t done many pairings other than that. I have toyed with Jensen/Reader/Danneel before and I enjoy writing them.

Least favorite character to write (and why):  Castiel. We only see so much of Cas and there aren’t as many complex layers of him so he’s harder for me to explore.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor?  @luci-in-trenchcoats

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing?   Finish everything I start, and be proud of every piece I create.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have:  Ummm probably upwards to the mid 60’s I want to say.

What are you currently working on?  I am in the very early stages of writing a Jensen x Reader Bodyguard AU series. Twisty and turny and very different from what I usually write, but still very me.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing?  I have the biggest influence on my writing for the most part. I always stick with what I want to write and what I’d love to read. That’s what gets me started on most pieces. My dear best friend who shall remain anonymous, has an influence on me as well. She mostly inspires me to write what I want to write and reminds me on a constant basis that I am doing good and to keep going with my ideas.

Best writing advice you've been given:  Don’t be afraid to get a little out of your comfort zone.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing:  Time management mostly. Deadlines are not my best friend, that’s for sure. I am often filled with a lot of self-doubt when it comes to getting things done on time. Then I wonder if it’s good enough for publishing or if I should wait.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? The research process for certain fics can be daunting. Especially if you don’t know where you need to start looking. Then fact checking, and making sure it works in the story. I have to remind myself that it will be worth it in the end. 

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why):  I am pretty open with writing most of the things I want to. Getting out of my comfort zone is something I regularly do. It’s always fun to challenge yourself into writing something you’d never think of doing. I certainly have enjoyed the things I was scared to try and it was worth it in the end.

What inspires/motivates you to write:  Any selfie/picture posted by Jensen. My best friend and the lovely people around me. @luci-in-trenchcoats is a big influence on me and she always keeps me going!

How do you deal with self doubt:  I constantly have to remind myself to get out of that headspace unless I am writing about being in that headspace. It’s a hard cycle to break. Reminding myself that what I am doing is making me happy. I’m making the rules. I’m writing this for me. I have to please myself first and that’s what matters the most. I know myself and the way I write, and that is enough. That’s what I keep on repeat in my head.

How do you deal with writer's block: Cry profusely? I’m kidding. Writer’s block for me, usually comes from something I don’t like that I have written. If it’s minor, I go back to the point where I was happy with where the story was going and delete everything after that. Give it a fresh new start and prospective. If the block is more severe, I take a break. Watch a movie and don’t stress myself about it. I get ideas anywhere, and it will come back eventually. Sometimes it’s just your brain's way of saying “hey, you need to take a break. Do that.”

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Generally yes. I like to know where my story is going. Most of the time my outlines are more extensive rough drafts. It’s a way of processing my thoughts and writing them down so I don’t forget later. It’s a lot more fun for me to build on stories.

Do you have any weird writing habits:  I either have to sit in a silent room, or I have to listen to music. Lately it’s been more silent. It depends on the subject.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it?  I’ve received my share of hateful comments. Each one sucks, I’m not going to lie. Knowing that there is someone out there that hates the way you wrote something so much that they had to tell you isn’t nice. It kind of comes back to the self doubt thing. You have to remind yourself that this is one person’s not so kind opinion. You are the writer, you are in control of this story. This is you and you’re proud of this.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic?  Any feedback is my favourite feedback. Every heart, every “I love this”. Every “You’re my favourite.” I can’t pick a favourite. If someone can take the time out to say they’ve loved something I have written and that it meant a lot to them, then that's the best reward I can get.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be?  Keep writing everyday! You don’t see it now but the more you write, the better you get.